WD Academy
by Amara777
Summary: Welcome to W.D. Academy, where all your fave Disney characters are put in a boarding school setting. There will be hookups, breakups, cat fights, secret crushes and, of course, the random music numbers. Will have Het and slash. I'm also taking requests.
1. Jealousy

(Yes, I know I should be concentrating on the other one, but this isn't really something serious. It's just something I plan to do every once in a while.)

Note: Okay, now this one is probably going to earn some flames. But that's okay, I figure that makes it come out stronger.

Now to anyone who may, or may not be familiar with my style, this will feature themes that many might find goes against Disney fanfiction criteria, and will probably be offensive. But I wanted to be an individual and do something different. For those who aren't into these things, I'm not going to stop you from either turning back, or even flaming me. So, to those who want to read something a little different, I will tell you what this will contain.

Warning: language, provacative themes (but no lemons or limes, I swear), some crude humor, and possibly subtle slash between characters (when I use "subtle" I mean no kissing, no sex, just hints--I don't think any of you might be ready for any of that down and dirty stuff...yet)

Summary: Welcome to W.D. Academy, where most (if not all) of your favorite Disney characters are put in a boarding school setting, living the sweet and sour golden years of being a teenager.

W.D. Academy is a private school with students with not so private lives. There are cat fights, break ups, hook ups, secret crushes, and secret love affairs that sometimes don't dare speak. These episodic chapters will contain humor, drama, romance, naughty language, sexual themes (no lemons!), and some more humor.

Come watch in amazement, shock, and possibly disgust as you see your favorite Disney characters in a way you've never dared seen them before!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Disney, or the characters created by Disney. I also don't own any literary characters that will definitely show up later.**

----

_Campus novel: _(noun) a novel whose story is set around the campus of a university (in this case, it is a boarding school); also known as an "academic novel"

_Walt Disney: _(noun—person) 1901–66, U.S. creator and producer of animated cartoons, motion pictures, etc.; R.I.P.

_Disney characters: _(noun) cartoons just asking to be corrupted through fan fiction; only a handful of fan fiction writers have dared to do this, and succeed

Will I succeed? Well, I certainly hope so.

----

**~Jealousy~**

Cold blue eyes glared at a redheaded girl who was flirting shamelessly with a boy with black hair and lighter blue eyes. She was up close in his face, tilting her own towards his in a seductive manner. The boy, due to his naturally introverted nature, blushed and smiled nervously, moving back so he could avoid her. He obviously didn't want her attention, yet the redhead persisted as she kept getting closer to him with a sway of her hips.

The glaring eyes narrowed. _That little slutbag, crack whore…_

"Alice, I think if you glare any harder you're gonna turn Guinevere into goo."

Alice whipped her head to glare at Peter Pan. "That's the point," she hissed.

Peter sighed as the blond girl turned back to glare at the two figures by the opposite row of lockers. He narrowed his own eyes when they landed on the girl who currently looked like she wanted to eat Pinocchio slowly with a spoon. Peter honestly didn't like the girl either, but for different reasons than Alice. That's why his glare wasn't so intense.

He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see a tall sandy haired teenage boy and a slightly shorter black teenage boy standing right next to him. They both looked pointedly at Alice, who was peeking at the scene behind her locker, growling possessively in the back of her throat.

"What's _her_ problem?" Arthur asked.

"Yeah, she looks like she's going to kill somebody," Mowgli added.

Peter snorted, leaning on the locker next to Alice's. "If Guinevere ends up taking her moves too far on Pinocchio, that prediction might come true."

Arthur's eyes widened. He leaned his head so he could look past Alice's open locker door and saw the same scene she was seeing. Once he saw, his brown eyes rolled exasperatedly. That girl will never learn…

"Wait, does that mean that she and Lance broke up _again_?" Mowgli raised an eyebrow at Peter.

"Yep. For the," he paused, thinking, "_tenth_ time this month, I believe."

"Wow, this is a bit of a shocker."

Arthur turned and quirked an eyebrow at Mowgli. "Why? The two of them break up all the time."

Mowgli grinned. "Yeah, but she always goes back to _you_, remember?"

Neither of the two boys noticed how Peter's green eyes narrowed as he crossed his arms over his chest.

He shrugged, hiding his obvious agitation from his two friends. "She must have been extra bored this time." He smirked pointedly at Arthur. "A little boy like you could seriously get boring real fast."

Arthur narrowed his eyes and was about to retort, when he heard an excited gasp from Alice. All three boys turned their heads to give the blonde girl their attention. She turned to all three of them with a bright smile that would have charmed the oldest of men, yet it scared all three of her friends, for they knew that she could be capable of anything.

Yeah, she was _that _crazy—especially when Pinocchio was involved.

"That's it, Arthur," she cried out ecstatically.

Arthur gulped. He _really _didn't want to get involved in anything concerning Guinevere. "What is _it_, Alice?"

Her smile didn't falter at his nervousness. "All you have to do is distract Guinevere, and I'll grab Pinocchio from her evil clutches and bring him back to safety."

She made it sound as if the boy had been captured by an evil queen and was currently being held captive by a bloodthirsty dragon. All three of the boys groaned inwardly. Sometimes they wondered how they came to be friends with such an odd girl.

"Honestly Alice, I think you're being a little overdramatic," Pete said.

"Yeah," Arthur added. "Besides, why would you pick _me_ for the job anyway?"

"Well, she is your girlfriend—"

"**Ex-girlfriend**," both Arthur and Peter corrected in unison.

When they both realized that their voices had been synchronized, their eyes widened as they glanced at each other, brown eyes clashing with green. Then they nervously looked away, their faces flushing slightly. Mowgli was the only one to notice, his dark eyes narrowing suspiciously, while Alice ignored them and continued explaining her "plan".

Mowgli quickly zoned out from Alice's rant and pretty much everyone else. Instead, he started looking around the school halls, observing the students. Belle and Adam looked like they were having a heated argument, but no one would really care about it anyway. The two of them will make up by the end of the week anyway. Meanwhile, Ariel was going on about something to Jasmine with a dreamy look on her face. If Mowgli knew his gossip well, (and he most certainly did), there was no doubt that the current topic of conversation was the young new assistant music teacher, who the students just called plain Eric (Mowgli suspected that there was something going on there, but he kept it to himself). And then there was…

His face brightened. "Shanti!"

The mocha skinned girl lifted her head at his voice and smiled at him as she walked up to him.

"Hey, guys," she greeted the group.

"Hey," Arthur greeted.

"Yo," Pete waved.

When she saw Alice rubbing her hands and grinning maniacally, Shanti blinked. "Uh, what's with Alice?"

All three boys pointed at Pinocchio and Guinevere. Shanti followed their fingers, and rolled her eyes. They didn't have to say anymore.

"Oh."

"She keeps going on about this stupid plan to 'save' Pinocchio." Peter rolled his eyes.

Shanti shook her head, smirking amusedly. "Don't worry guys; I'll take care of this."

The boys watched as she approached Alice and whispered into the girl's ear. They all tilted their heads curiously when they saw the blonde blush lightly and smile dreamily. They were all even more confused when the girls separated from their little unheard conversation. Alice turned to Shanti, who was smirking mischievously, and giggled.

"Then again, that plan works out too."

-~-

Pinocchio sighed, slamming his head against the lunch table. What a stressful ninety minute block. Usually, Chemistry with Merlin was fun, since Pinocchio liked science. But with a girl like Guinevere trying to get your attention every five minutes, it got a little annoying, especially when you were trying to pay attention to the teacher. He should have ignored her, really he should have, but every time he contemplated it, he found that ignoring her would be rude.

Apparently, Guinevere knew that, since she took advantage of his politeness.

He groaned softly to himself. Damn his pure hearted father for infusing manners into his personality. It was bad enough that Alice didn't really noticed Pinocchio due to him being the typical "nice guy" (the kind who always finished last). Now, he had to deal with the "school slut" and her attention on him.

Why couldn't she just stick with Lance anyway? Everyone in school knew the two loved each other. They just kept fighting and breaking up every month, that's all. Belle and Adam were like that, but you don't see them dealing with it with promiscuity.

When he felt a comforting hand on his back, Pinocchio lifted his head. Arthur, one of his closest friends, was looking down at him with concern in his eyes. When he lifted his head more, he noticed that Peter and Mowgli were sitting across the table, also looking at him with concern.

"You okay, Pinoke?" Arthur asked.

"Yeah," Pinocchio replied wearily. He ran a hand through his dark hair. "Just a little tired today, that's all."

"The ho gave you a hard time, huh," Peter commented, leaning his face on his propped hand.

Pinocchio nodded silently.

"She's not a ho," Arthur defended softly. "She just has…a lot of issues."

Mowgli scoffed. "Come on, man don't defend her. She used you just to get to that guy Lancelot. Remember?"

"Yeah…" The blonde's eyes dimmed a little at the memory. Then they brightened again. "But that doesn't mean she's evil or anything."

Pete scowled, somewhat bitterly. "No, but it proves that she's a manipulative bitch who can't seem to close her legs enough to stay with just one person. She carries a lot of baggage on her, and that baggage is what causes a lot of drama for the person she may, or may not care about. As long as she keeps messing up her life on her own, she is not worth anyone's concern." As he added that, he looked pointedly at Arthur.

Arthur stayed silent. There was nothing he could say in defense for her, not after that little statement. There was too much truth in it to argue with it.

Wanting to break the tension, Pinocchio looked around. "Where's Alice? Doesn't she have this lunch with us?"

The other boys looked at each other nervously. They weren't sure what Alice planned, but knowing her, it would cause a lot of gossip in the next few weeks.

"We're not really sure," Mowgli admitted.

Pinocchio quirked an eyebrow curiously.

"Shanti took her aside before lunch," Pete added at the look.

The shorter boy of the group looked worried. "She's not upset, is she? I mean, I don't even like Guinevere."

Better yet, he thought to himself. Why would Alice be so upset anyway? It wasn't as if she was…jealous or something. The girl didn't even notice his existence. She was too spontaneous and quirky to notice a guy like him, even if they had been friends as children. She'd never see him as anything more than a friend.

…Right?

When Pinocchio felt a small hand on his shoulder, he turned around to see Alice and Shanti smiling down at him, their trays of food in their hands. Shanti quickly moved away to sit next to Mowgli, her smile becoming a catlike smirk. Since he was especially close to the girl, Mowgli noticed right away.

"What do you two have planned?" he asked softly.

She giggled. "You'll see."

Pinocchio smiled up at Alice. "Hey Alice—"

He was cut off when the blonde girl leaned down and straddled his lap. Once she did, his face lit up like a bright red light, and he started sputtering awkwardly at her. As if she didn't know what she was doing, Alice just smiled and put her tray down next to his on the table.

Mowgli's eyes widened. "Damn," was all he said.

Peter blinked, and then he smirked. "Well, well, well. Who knew she had it in her?"

Arthur smiled as he silently agreed, feeling both amused and awkward, since he was so close to what was happening.

"Hello, Pinocchio," she greeted in her chipper British accent.

"Uh—uh—um…!"

She smiled softly at the blushing teenage boy. However, deep down inside, she was cackling madly at an imagined image of Guinevere, saying: "Back off bitch, the boy is mine!"

"You don't mind if I sit here, do you?" She tilted her head, and fluttered her eyelashes innocently, yet seductively.

Pinocchio had trouble saying a full sentence. He was concentrating on keeping his arms clamped to his sides, trying not to touch the smooth legs that were clamped down on his own, or try to lean up and kiss her, or do anything else that would be…inappropriate. At least in school, and in public.

It was so tempting though…

Ah, the true curse of teenage hormones!

"Um…well—no." His blue eyes widened as he tried to correct himself. "I-I-I mean, if you want to sit there so badly…. Not that I don't want you to…! I mean—oh fuck, what do I mean…?" He trailed off quietly.

Pinocchio quickly took notice of Arthur standing up with his tray and stared at him desperately, trying to relay the "Help me!" message silently.

Arthur just smiled awkwardly, shrugged and walked over to the other side to sit next to Peter. Since the table was long, it was easy to find room on the bench.

He gaped at him, feeling a little anger surge through him. Oh, that bastard…!

Any anger he felt immediately faded away when he felt Alice's smooth fingers go through his hair (God that felt nice, he thought dreamily), forcing him to look at her again. She was two inches taller than him, but as she was sitting down on his lap, Pinocchio saw that they were at eyelevel, seeing any emotions that were swirling in each other's eyes. The distance between their faces was lacking, Pinocchio was acutely aware. This realization made him swallow nervously, trying to ignore the pounding of his heart.

Alice smiled softly, this time genuinely. This boy was just too adorable. No one as cold and cruel as Guinevere deserved to even touch him. Feeling a sudden inspiration, she leaned her face forward, closing her eyes slightly and her lips puckering. She felt her heart jump when she realized that Pinocchio was leaning forward too, though more tentatively than she was.

Their lips were just about to brush…

"What the hell?!"

She scowled and moaned at the familiar shriek, and leaned her head back to see behind Pinocchio. Standing there, with her hands on her hips and gold eyes blazing with anger, was Guinevere. Pinocchio also turned his head around, shifting his gaze nervously from girl to girl.

The lunchroom had quickly gone from loud to silent, with only a few murmurs here and there. Most of the students, if not all, paused what they were doing to watch the two girls stare coldly at each other. (Yes, school was that boring.)

"I'm sorry, do you mind?" Alice said coldly.

Guinevere ignored her. "Pinocchio, I thought you liked me," she whined, putting on her infamous pout.

"I don't know how I hinted at that," he replied somewhat nervously, "but I'm sorry, Gwen. I don't like you."

Guinevere pouted more, making her eyes go big and watery. "But if you don't go out on a date with me, I'll be sad…"

Pinocchio shifted his glances nervously in thought. Alice watched him, and her scowl deepened.

"Didn't you hear him?" she snapped. "He doesn't want you."

He's too good for someone like you, Alice added in her mind.

The other girl scowled back. "And what makes you think he wants someone like you?"

Alice smirked and wrapped her arms around Pinocchio's neck, bringing her body closer to his. Her smirk widened when she heart the boy emit a soft, surprised grunt as his blush returned with full force.

"Can't you just tell?"

Guinevere's eye twitched. She didn't like being foiled, especially by someone standing in the way of what she wanted. She shifted her gaze to Arthur, who was eating a French fry as he watched the spectacle. He blinked when he realized she was staring at him. Then she smirked cattily and walked over to him, swaying her hips seductively.

"Oh, Arthur, what a surprise. I've missed you so much baby," she said softly, leaning over to stroke his chin.

Arthur sighed, looking apologetic. "Gwen, I—"

"He doesn't want you either, so back off," Peter snapped with a glare. "No one on this table obviously does, so go off and toy with someone else."

For a brief moment there was a glint of hurt in Guinevere's eyes. It quickly went away when she huffed and walked away from the table and out of the lunchroom. Once she was gone, everyone who had watched went back to eating and talking; all disappointed that nothing interesting really happened.

Mowgli chuckled. "Well that was fun."

"I don't know now," Shanti commented softly. "The plan may have worked, but I feel a little bad now."

Alice snorted. "You shouldn't. She got what was coming to her."

"Amen to that," Peter added softly.

Pinocchio stared at Alice. "So," he drew out, "this was all just a plan to get Guinevere to leave me alone?"

Alice smiled. "Kind of."

With that said she leaned forward and crushed her lips against his. Pinocchio's eyes widened, and then slowly closed as he leaned into the kiss. Soon he wrapped an arm around her waist, while the other went up her back, his hand diving into her gold locks and savoring the feeling under his fingers. The movement made Alice gasp softly, which gave Pinocchio an opening to deepen the kiss.

For a few moments, there was nothing. Neither of the two paid attention to whatever wolf whistles or cat calls any students cried out as they saw. They didn't even bother to pay attention to Peter's playful jab, "Get a room!" or anything else their friends said. All they cared about was saying what they had to say to each other without the need for words.

When they both needed air, Alice and Pinocchio broke off the kiss and smiled at each other, savoring the post kiss moment. Then, Alice gently got off his lap and sat next to Pinocchio, lacing her hand with his. As they both ate their lunch, they stared at each other silently, as if they were in their own world.

…Ignoring the fact that their friends were watching.

"Jesus Christ what a sickeningly sweet ending," Peter commented with a smile.

"All that's missing is the random wedding out of nowhere," Arthur added, chuckling.

"With the birds and animals singing, the church bells ringing," Shanti sighed, leaning her head on Mowgli's shoulders.

"And of course the ride off to a huge castle on a white steed," Mowgli chuckled, holding Shanti close.

"Yeah," the others agreed.

…

…

"They do realize that we have a class next, right?" Arthur quipped.

Mowgli waved him off. "Let them bask in their moment of romance. They deserve it."

Shanti shook her head, laughing softly.

Who knew jealousy could turn into a great matchmaker?

* * *

Oh god, the cheesiness of the ending! It's killing me *chokes*

lol, just kidding. This is Disney. Cheesy, but cute endings are, like, a requirement of some sort.

Anyway, in case you didn't know:

Guinevere is a character in T.H. White's "King Arthur" trilogy (which "The Sword in the Stone" is based off of), and in general King Arthur folklore in general. She was married to Arthur, but then cheated on him with Lancelot (aka Lance, who is also featured in this BTW). Note that this probably doesn't make her a whore, or a slut. I just had to choose someone to play the role.

As for why Arthur is there in the first place, well--I don't think he gets used in fanfics a lot. Might as well use him here.

And: Pinocchio-x-Alice? Yeah, I know it practically screams "CRACK pairing"

But hey, there's a Peter Pan/Ariel fanfic floating around here somewhere, so don't judge me just yet (not that I'm saying it's bad; I mean it's just as cracky as my pairing, and many of the future pairings that I will include).

And, on a last note, according to someone I heard it from, the Beast's real name is Adam in Disney lore. I thought I'd use rather than the name I made up for him.

So, tell me what you think? Love it, hate it? Either way, telling me would be a polite thing to do.


	2. Alive

_"We are most alive when we're in love." _

_—John Updike, late novelist _

**~Alive~**

It had been nighttime in the prestigious boarding school, W.D. Academy. It was nine-thirty, which was marked as being lights out in both the girls' and boys' dorms for all the students. Everyone should have been in their beds, sleeping.

However, that still doesn't mean that they did.

_"…Stand here, Jasmine…"_

Jasmine's dull dark eyes looked out in the night, eyeing the glittering stars and the luminous moon with a hint of envy.

_"Why don't you find this one good enough, Jasmine?"_

Her eyes narrowed, recalling her last meeting with her father. He had been trying to set her up with someone…_again_.

_"What's wrong, Jasmine?"_

She snorted bitterly, fingering her long dark hair harshly. What was wrong? Life was wrong, that was what was wrong. It just wasn't fair. Jasmine was born into a life of privilege—she was practically a princess. She should have been like the stereotypical rich girl, being out having fun, living her life as she wanted.

And yet, her father would always bring her down—with marriage, to top it off.

Don't get her wrong, Jasmine loved her father dearly. It's just…

_"You'll like this one, Jasmine—I promise!"_

It gets _too much _sometimes.

When would she be free from this emptiness? This bitter void that is nestled inside her heart shouldn't be real. In fact, it really isn't. Jasmine wasn't naïve, and she wasn't unknowledgeable in the study of biology. There was no such thing as a broken heart. If there was, the person with it wouldn't be walking and breathing.

It just felt like it, that's all.

She felt a stinging in the back of her eyes, and bit her lip to stifle a sob. She didn't want to wake up her roommate and best friend, Ariel.

_"Jasmine, please tell me…"_

Her father would try, try to understand. But Jasmine didn't think he understood at all. And she was much too worried about disappointing him to say what she wanted—no, _needed_ to say.

_"What is it that you want?"_

_I want…_

She closed her eyes to block the tears, and mentally admonished herself. Stay strong, damn it…! You will get nothing from crying.

_I want to feel **alive...**_

Jasmine released a shaky breath.

_None of my suitors ever have that little trait, and I doubt any ever will._

A tap on the window stirred Jasmine away from her thoughts. She lifted her face and saw that someone was crouching on a branch of the tree outside the window. When she saw who it was, she smiled and immediately opened the window.

"Aladdin, what are you doing here?" she asked, one of her dark brows quirked.

He smiled softly. "Something told me you needed company tonight."

Her eyes widened, and then they shrunk back to their original size. "We could get caught."

Al smirked and held out his hand. "Don't you trust me?"

Jasmine smiled at the hand. Of course, she trusted him. She trusted him more than she probably should. He wasn't wealthy, nor was he very academic, but Aladdin was more than any male who ever tried to woo her. He was certainly, by no means, a mere _suitor_. He was a friend, a confidante, and a lover.

Sure there were times when he frustrated her. He often kept some secrets to himself, mostly concerning his past. Sometimes they fought about it. Sometimes those fights ended with her in tears.

_And yet, I will always find myself back to him._

Jasmine grasped the hand and allowed Aladdin to pull her out of her room…

_Because he makes me feel more emotions than I have ever felt around other people, including my friends and family…_

As she grasped his sweatshirt, Jasmine and Aladdin both climbed down the tree and walked away from the school, their hands interlaced with each other. She leaned on his shoulder, smiling softly to herself.

_And, even though we have our problems, I realize that I've never felt more alive than I have with him…_

* * *

This was mostly just a corny little drabble, but I feel that it's okay, because you know why? It's Aladdin and Jasmine, that's why!

Needless to say, I'm a little surprised people actually like this. I can't help but wonder if anyone actually read the summary. Whether they did, or didn't, I'm happy for the reviews, even from my Death Note fan.

Thank you whole bunches!


	3. Life Long Dream

Here's another random day at W.D. Academy! Note: Since these are all more or less episodic, they aren't really all that related to each other, except for any feelings characters might have for another

You: …

Oh, you'll get it as you read…I hope…

Warning for this chapter: crude humor (typical teenage boy humor), and OOC-ness, and slight hints of slash (you might have to squint to see it).

As for their ages, I'd say they are mostly sixteen, maybe seventeen.

* * *

**~Life Long Dreams~**

"You know what I've always wanted to do?"

"…Fulfill your goal in screwing every woman, and possibly man, who moves?"

Pause.

"Close, but not exactly where I was going."

Pinocchio really didn't want to, but he looked up from the book he was studying from and stared at his friend, who was sitting on his dorm bed Indian style. Mowgli, who was sitting right next to Pinocchio on the floor, didn't look up from his book. He just continued to read his book.

"Fine, I'll bite," he sighed. "What have you always wanted to do, Pete?"

Peter grinned.

"Have random sex in a restaurant."

Pinocchio stared at him. Mowgli stared at him. Peter stared back.

…

…

…

"…You sick, twisted, mo-fo of a man-whore." Mowgli shook his head, and then went back to his studying.

Peter scowled. "Hey, I'm _not_ a man-_whore_!"

"Oh, really?" Pinocchio raised an eyebrow, a sardonic smile on his face. "Then what are you?"

"I'm a man-_slut_."

Mowgli looked back up. "What's the difference?"

"Whores get paid for to have sex," Peter explained with a smirk. "Sluts provide a free civil service."

"Dear, sweet Jesus." Pinocchio pinched the bridge of his nose. "I can't believe he _actually_ said that," he grumbled.

"Even so, why would you want to have sex in a _restaurant_?" Mowgli quirked an eyebrow. "You do realize how tacky that is, right?"

"…Yeah," was the awkward reply. Then Peter smiled at his two friends. "But think about it, guys. The fancy five star meals, the sophisticated talking, the music playing in the background—can you picture it?"

"**Yeah**," both Mowgli and Pinocchio replied, nodding.

"Great. Now, imagine the peaceful atmosphere to be broken when one of the employees discovers a scandalous tryst occurring in one of the bathroom stalls, or, better yet, one of the private tables. Everyone screams, police are called, and the lovers are banned from the establishment, their reputations going down in history as the most scandalous thing to have happened this side of Fantasia…"

Pinocchio gaped at the boy as his expression got dreamy and his eyes glittered. "You've really…_thought_ about this, haven't you?"

"Yep."

"Pete, that's _gross_!"

"Don't knock it when you haven't tried it."

Pinocchio groaned and shook his head. How he managed to find such an attention seeker for a best friend, he'll never know.

"You know," Mowgli said softly. "He kind of has a point…"

"Mowgli!" Pinocchio gaped.

"Aw, come on you know that's not what I mean," he replied. "I mean the whole concept of our aspirations and all that crap…"

"Oh, great. What have _you_ wanted to do?"

Mowgli paused, blinking. Then a slow smile grew on his face.

"I want to live in the jungle."

Peter stared at him, then back at Pinocchio.

"And you mock _my _dream."

"Oh, shut up. At least his is plausible and probably legal." Pinocchio nodded at Mowgli. "Continue Mowgli."

"As I was saying," he continued. "I want to live in the jungle so I can be around animals. You guys know how much I like animals."

"So what will you be?" Peter propped his arm up and leaned his face on his palm. "A zoologist or something?"

"I'm not really sure yet, but I know I want to work with animals in the jungle."

Pinocchio smiled. "That's good. I'm sure that dream will come true."

"I hope so…" Mowgli sighed. "What about you, Pinocchio?"

"I want to try to make toys like my dad. He always makes children happy with his puppets and teddy bears." He dreamily and sighed, "And Alice would be by my side, with our children in her arms…"

Peter smirked and raised an eyebrow. "You've really thought about this, haven't you, Pinoke?"

The other boy's dreamy nod was enough to make him let out a laugh.

"You are such a sucker, Pinocchio, I swear you are." He shook his head.

Pinocchio rolled his eyes. "You're just upset because you don't have a significant other to share you dreams with, as twisted they may be."

Peter shrugged. "Go ahead, think what you want. Just make note that I don't _want_ a steady relationship. I'm young and hot, so I should be free to have as much fun as I can. And even if I did want a 'special someone', I highly doubt that there is anyone out there, male or female, who is good enough for me."

"Didn't you once have a crush on that girl who lived next to you?" Mowgli asked.

"What girl?" Peter's eyes widened as he grinned. "Oh, you mean Wendy! Yeah, what about her?"

Pinocchio looked curious. "What happened to her?"

"Yeah, what stopped _you _from pursuit?" Mowgli added.

Peter hummed, his face blank. "Well, to start," he put up a hand and counted off his fingers. "There's the twelve year age gap between us."

Pinocchio's eyes widened. "Oh."

"…Then there's the wedding ring on her finger…"

Mowgli shrugged. "So she's older and is married, big deal."

"And, of course, there's the little three-year-old girl that she and her husband come home to after picking her up from day care."

Mowgli cringed. "Okay, I think I get it now."

"Yeah, and to top it off, there's a little baby boy on the way," Peter finished off, huffing his chest out slightly with pride.

"You look upset," Pinocchio commented sarcastically.

The redhead scoffed and waved him off. "Of course I'm not. It may have been the closest to love I experienced, but it was still nothing more than the typical boyhood crush on the babysitter. Wendy's more like a mother to me anyway."

"Guess you'll have to find someone else to have your little dream," Mowgli chuckled.

Peter laughed back. "Yeah, I guess so…"

"Hey do you guys wanna know what _my_ dream is?"

All three teenage boys stiffened, as their eyes went wide. They each took in their own individual gulps and stiffly turned their necks to see who was at the door, though they already knew.

"To see all three of you come back from Tremaine's math exam with, at least, a B+."

Arthur Pendragon stood at the door with his arms crossed and his face wearing a demanding, almost regal, expression.

"Now, get back to work," he commanded in an even tone.

All three boys groaned as they tilted their heads forward. They all hated math, and they hated math with Lady Tremaine the most.

"Arthur, this whole thing doesn't even make any sense," Mowgli complained.

"Yeah, we need so much help, so badly," Pinocchio whimpered, making his big eyes go watery like the typical upsettingly cute loli-shota (look it up if you don't understand).

"Agreed, starting with this weird…crap. What the hell does this table with the 'p' and 'q' have to do with anything?" Peter griped. "Last I checked they are letters, not numbers."

Arthur rolled his eyes as he walked over to him. "It's called a 'Truth Table'; it is one of the topics of Sequential Math II."

Peter blinked at him. "What…?"

Arthur regarded him with a cool, yet dangerous expression.

"…You don't pay attention in that class at all, do you Pete?"

He chuckled nervously, subconciously running a hand through his red hair. "Arthur, when was the last time I told you how much I appreciated having you as my friend?"

"…Never, actually. Now come on, we've gotta focus."

"…Yes, sir."

"Oh, and Peter?"

"Yeah…?"

"Random restaurant sex is not only tacky and disgusting, it's also unsanitary and risky—no matter how clean the place is," Arthur stated. "If I hear that you actually try it, with a stranger no less, I will go out and buy you a bloody chastity belt, and chain you down if I have to."

Peter's eyes widened a fraction, and then he smirked playfully. "Why, Arthur, I had no idea you cared."

Arthur flushed lightly and turned his head to the opposite side. "Let's just get to work, you psycho."

"Yes, sir, Mr. Pendragon."

Mowgli and Pinocchio looked at each other, and then regarded Peter and Arthur suspiciously. Their eyes narrowed.

"Where would you get a chastity belt these days?" Pinocchio whispered.

Mowgli shrugged, humming the universal sound for "I dunno".

* * *

Peter Pan, bi?

Sorry, I just couldn't resist. (I have such a sick mind…) And I couldn't resist making him a slight nympho sort of bastard either. I'm not doing it to make him perverted (not completely anyway); I'm trying to show how much of an attention whore he could be. I mean, if he actually grew older, he would probably still act like a little attention seeking child. As an attention seeker, he would probably do _anything_ to get eyes all on him.

At least, that's my interpretation of it. To tell you the truth, I'm not a huge fan of Peter Pan, and I don't mean just the cartoon, I mean the literary character in general. So if I mess with the character, it's really more for _my_ benefit than yours.

Sorry if it bothers you, but that's how it is.


	4. Ariel

**~Ariel~**

Ariel was a true blue redhead, through and through. It was a common fact known by everyone in W.D. Academy.

And yet, there were moments where she would act like the "ditzy blonde" stereotype with her daily randomness.

Observe:

"Hey, Belle?"

Belle looked up from her book. "Yes, Ariel?"

"Do you remember that movie, _Muppet Treasure Island_?"

"Yeah."

"Do you remember that song that Kermit and Miss Piggy sang?"

" 'Love Led Us Here'?"

Ariel nodded. "Yeah, that one."

Belle quirked an eyebrow. "What about it?"

"Do you think that they realized that love led them to hanging off a cliff by their feet?"

* * *

Out of all the characters, Ariel is my favorite. That's why she gets a drabble dedicated to her and her questioning.

Also, it's a question that I've been thinking ever since I saw the movie _Muppet Treasure Island _again.


	5. Heartless

_"We were given:_

_Two hands to hold._

_Two legs to walk._

_Two eyes to see._

_Two ears to listen._

_But why only one heart?_

_Because the other one was given to someone else…_

**_For us to find_**_."_

_~Unknown_

**~Heartless~**

I have been called many things in my young life, but here are the negatives that I often hear in W.D.'s hallways, but never really listen to.

Man-whore. (I still say "man-slut", of course, but whatever.)

Fag. (Please. I'm only half of a fag. Get it right.)

Inhuman. (Who wants to be a boring human anyway?)

Childish.

Selfish.

Cruel.

Cold…

**Heartless**.

All of them are true. I don't deny it. In fact, I take them with pride, just so I could see how pissed off those people. I never stop to contemplate these qualities of mine.

Except that last one.

**_Heartless._**

That one is tricky, because I once thought that was true.

I don't mean biologically, of course (no one can survive without a heart, obviously); I'm talking about it in an emotional aspect.

My mother left my family when I was four.

There was no note, no goodbyes.

I just woke up one day and she…wasn't there.

My dad and sister don't like to talk about it. It hurts too much. Plus, we've all learned to deal with it over the years.

Dad's been dealing with it with a bottle of vodka every night.

My older sister, Tinkerbell deals with it with anger, hatred and random fights with people—just to feel alive, she says.

I dealt with it by getting rid of my heart—all those lovey-dovey emotions—and mentally locking it away.

Not even Wendy Darling (as her maiden name went), my babysitter, could get through to me, as close as we were (and still are; I visit her for advice and take care of Jane every now and then). I once thought what I felt for her was love, but now I realize it was something close to it. Apparently, even as a child, I had been heartless. And I vowed to remain heartless for the rest of my life.

Because, if you're free of love, then nothing could weigh you down in your life.

Love can never _hurt_ you, because you have no heart to love. Therefore, it defeats the purpose.

Sure you could have friends, maybe even minions; just don't love, or fall in love with one of them (as the cliché goes), and don't allow yourself to get hurt.

As I got to middle school, my heartlessness was at its peak. I barely noticed the dead red thing in my chest anymore. It had gone completely inactive at my mother's abandonment.

And then, when I was thirteen, I got wind of a new transfer student. At first, I was bored; because I thought he was one of those Japanese transfers from Square Enix (they like to come here, for some reason). When the local gossip hinted he was from England, I still wasn't interested. (Seriously, what are with all the British kids/people in Fantasia? Alice, Wendy, Christopher Robin…)

It was the fencing championship that caught my attention. Apparently, he had been the British Fencing Champion of 2003, the previous year. I had never seen him in action on T.V., but I'd heard that he was considered to be a sword play prodigy.

My initial thought was: _Please, just because he has some trophy to his name, doesn't mean that he could beat _me.

The fact was that I had been the reigning fencing expert in middle school.

Until…

Well.

That day, when I had heard about him, he had been fencing with people in the gym. Apparently, after hearing who he was, all the fencers (who I'd all defeated, I'd just like to point out) wanted to challenge him also.

I watched him move, defend and hit his opponents. As much as I wanted to find a flaw in his play, he had impressed me. I even felt myself curious about what kind of face was under that mask. (I could barely make anything out of the screen.)

Still, I wanted to fight him, just to make my territory known, you know. To show everyone that I was still the best.

Finally, I got my wish and went up against him.

The fight was hard and epic, leading to the school pool.

…And then, I lost.

But I didn't fall in the pool though, luckily. He grabbed my hand before I could fall in the water.

Even through those gloves, I felt an eerie warmth surge through me…

_(Ba-bump.)_

Despite his kindness, I was upset and embarrassed at my loss. Even though we were oft told by our fencing coach, or any sports coach in the school, to be a "good sport", I never believed that. If I win anything, I was smug to a fault. If I lost, I would put up a tantrum like a child.

When we were told to shake hands, I smirked. I would finally see the face of the guy who I would end up beating one day. I took off my helmet and waited for him to do the same.

I don't know about anyone else there in the gym, but in my eyes, it was like slow motion.

Blond, hell, practically gold, hair put in an odd pageboy-like style. If he grew it out any further, he could pass as a girl—if he wore the proper make-up, of course. (Don't tell him I said this.)

Brown eyes that were like melted dark chocolate, swirling around a black pupil. They were warm and kind—genuinely too, I could already tell. Nothing at all like _my_ eyes, which just deceive people into thinking I'm innocent. At their true nature, my eyes were cold and hard, and emotionless.

His face was good too. If you met him, you could tell he was born for some royalty of some sort. From his aristocratic nose to his brilliant, _genuine_ smile, the boy just screamed regal. He would win as the yearly contest for Prince Charming, if he cared to do it, of course.

_(Ba-bump.)_

It wasn't until he snapped his fingers in front of my face that I realized that I had been staring.

He softly asked me if I was alright.

I didn't answer; I just quickly took his hand in a somewhat firm handshake and walked away (actually it was kind of a run). I remember my feeling my face burn, and feeling confusion as it did.

Especially at the strange…feeling in my chest.

_(Ba-bump.)_

It felt like something wanted to get out, like that movie _Alien_, (only the weird worm thingy wanted to get through my chest cavity, not my stomach). I put a hand over the spot of the feeling to try to stop it, but it didn't stop that harsh thumping for a long, long time that day.

Of course, now, three years later, I realize what it was.

Ironic, isn't it?

My heart had been inactive for about nine years, and then some _person_—who really isn't all that special, if you look at it from an outsider's perspective, and is a _guy_—wanders into my life and switches it back on without even trying.

He _still_ doesn't even try, not that he has to…

Of course, he still doesn't know this.

And I'm not going to tell him.

Don't look at me like that. If you were in my situation, you would understand.

And no, I'm not talking about what people are going to think. In case you haven't noticed, I don't give a damn about my reputation, or what people think of me.

Except _him_, of course.

As I think, I realize that he's the only one whose opinion _truly_ matters to me.

What if he doesn't feel the same? What if he would just want to stay as friends?

Or worse, what if he ends up hating me and turning his back on me…?

Yeah, this kind of contemplation hurts. It's like glass piercing your chest and opening it up so you could die a slow painful death. As this one-sided love gets worse each day, the more you hurt. It makes you want to hate that person, to run away and go wallow in your misery in a corner. It is the exact thing I've been trying to run from for years.

Still, even if it hurts, the pain is sort of…euphoric, in a sense—almost therapeutic, actually.

Because, when he smiles and is pleased, I feel a bit of that pain wear off. It's why I do whatever I could to please him—even if it's just homework. It's why I do whatever I could to make him laugh, even if my usual trickster methods don't work.

That's why I defend him so much when he gets dumped by some slutty girl who, strangely enough, wants a guy who will give it to her in the backseat on the first date.

Because I don't understand how they can throw something so _good_ away that easily, and for such a God damn _stupid_ reason, too! They should be fucking _grateful_ he even gives them the time of day.

Yeah, I know—I'm a walking contradiction, (Holden Caulfield alert). But if you're anything like me (a man-whore, a slut, whichever), you will get a better understanding when you find that person.

I mean, just look at Meg (W.D. alumni and now college student). You think _she_ hadn't been around the block a couple of times (and possibly then some)? Because, before she met Hercules, she was just as heartless as I was. I almost laughed when I saw her on Hercules' arm one day. I swore that they wouldn't last the seniors' prom.

From what I've heard, they are still going strong.

I didn't understand it then, but I think I think I get it _now_.

Perhaps Meg had been running away too…

Maybe girls like Guinevere are all secretly running away…

Ah, whatever. I'm still not going to tell him. I have become a strict believer in the motto suggested by a Mr. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe:

_"If I love you, what business is it of yours?"_

Ain't it the truth, dead guy, ain't it the truth…

Sure, it _hurts_, and I hate the pain that it brings. But there is something good about the pain too.

When those broken hearted girls, and sometimes guys, cry and tell me how _heartless_ I am, sometimes leading me to doubt myself—it's okay.

Because I just have to take one look at Arthur Pendragon, and I feel confident in these things.

Yeah; I am childish.

And I am selfish.

But I am _human_, because I feel _this_ inside me.

When I feel this pain, I know that I'm alive.

And that's when I know that I am _not_ heartless.

* * *

Yeah, sorry DrakkenWasHere, this isn't exactly fluffy. Sorry...

To those of you who are upset: Like I said, whatever characterization I do to Peter Pan is for my benefit, not yours. Sorry.

By the way, the whole "heartless" thing can only be understood if you've actually read the book _Peter Pan_. I believe that it is present in the last line of the novel. As you'll probably realize, the term "heartless" is probably used in a different context than Mr. Barrie.

BTW, I don't own Square Enix, or their characters. I just thought it'd be good to reference them because of Kingdom Hearts. I also don't own _The Catcher in the Rye_, or Holden Caulfield. I do see Holden as an angsty, tragic version of Peter Pan though, but strangely enough I find that I like him more.


	6. The Invasion Part 1

**Note: Okay, one of you asked for drama. Are you all _ready_?**

**You: *pumps fists* Hell yeah!**

**Even if it's completely stupid, a parody and maybe a little offensive to some readers due to some bashing relating to the topic (hint: it rhymes with Larry Goo)?**

**You: Yeah!**

**All right. Consider the previous line your warning.**

**As the Nintendo Icon, Mario would say: *claps hands* Let's a go!**

* * *

**~The Invasion~**

**Part 1 of 3 (planned)**

**Prologue**:

It is a well known fact that animals can never evolve to the point where they develop a human-like personality, along with a human-like structure. In our normal world, there were no such things as a dog that could walk and talk, or a rabbit that can have a complete conversation with you on the meaning of life.

Of course, in case you haven't realized yet, this is not our normal world.

For example:

There goes Daisy Duck, W.D. Academy's head secretary, running through the hallways to get to the Headmaster's office.

Her eyes were wide, scared and desperate. She had something she had to tell the Headmaster before the crisis got worse, and the whole student body was overcome with panic. Any student out in the hallway stops and stares after her as her flat feet (which are wearing a pair of sexy green pumps) leave a trail of smoke due to her speed.

Finally, she slammed open the office door, panting through her beak. Her boss, though small in stature, stood regally in front of the huge window overlooking the campus, his back facing her.

"Mickey, something terrible has happened!" Daisy gasped out.

Mickey Mouse (cue applause and cheers from audience) turned his head to face her, his face stern and serious.

"I already know Daisy," he said. "That horrid disturbance in the force was just too much to ignore."

Daisy calmed down somewhat, but still quirked a skeptical eyebrow. "What are we going to do? There are probably a hundred of them in the school by now."

"I already have a plan," he replied as he walked away from the window, toward the exit. "Donald, Goofy and I are about to leave now for help."

"Well at least you guys work fast," she said dryly.

He eyed Daisy sternly, silencing her. "Until then, you and Minnie are in charge of the school. Make sure all the students and the entire faculty is safe, and whatever you two do, try not to approach the threats—at least not without a weapon. Though they don't look it, they are too dangerous, even for the five of us combined."

"But what if the students start asking questions?" Daisy asked. "They are going to notice the threat eventually, no matter what we'll say to try to cover it up."

Mickey paused in the doorway and contemplated that. "I trust the students to protect themselves if need be, but just in case, prevent casualties if you can."

With that said, the black mouse clapped his white gloved hands. There was a loud _crack_ that resounded in the room, and the area reverberated and sparked with magic.

Then, in a flash of smoke, Mickey Mouse, Headmaster of W.D. Academy, was gone.

Daisy swallowed harshly as she walked towards the same window her boss had been previously looking at. It was early morning, and all the students, donned in their uniforms, had stepped out of their dormitories to start the day, unknowing of the threats that had breached their precious school.

She exhaled a shaky breath.

"Walt help us all."

* * *

Think this is enough drama for ya? Even if it's a little exaggerated?

Why I used "Walt" instead of God: Because Walt Disney _is_ their God, that's why, XD.

_And **Yes**!_ I made Mickey say it, "the force"! (In other words, I can't take it back, and you can't make me, even if you tried! XP--Yes, I can be this immature in real life...sadly)

Because one: I'm a bit of a _Star Wars_ geek.

And two: we can't deny that The Mouse kicked ass with his Keyblade in Kingdom Hearts II, just like how the equally awesome Yoda kicked ass with his lightsaber in _Episode II _and _III _(well, _almost_, but the way he moved was awesome anyway; he made _Revenge of the Sith_ worth watching).

What's going to happen next, I wonder?...

Probably nothing that different if you've read these kinds of fics before.


	7. The Invasion Part 2

**Disclaimer: The Mary Sues contained in this story are all technically mine, even if you might recognize some traits related to well-known Disney OCs (*coughs* Mary Sues). If anyone is insulted, then I apologize that it insulted you. I'm not sorry that I wrote it though.**

**BTW, I may, or may not, make some hidden references to a well-known Mary Sue. However, she might be a little different, and probably a little more annoying than she actually is.**

* * *

**~The Invasion~**

**Part 2 of 3**

**A few days later…**

Pinocchio blinked as he sat in his desk to his Math period. With an eyebrow quirked, he leaned to the side to whisper in Peter Pan's ear.

"Hey, Pete have you noticed anything…_unusual_ the past few days?"

Peter looked at him curiously. "How do you figure?"

Pinocchio glanced at the front of the class, inclining his head towards it. Peter followed his glance with bored eyes and finally paid enough attention to see what was going on.

"Class," Lady Tremaine announced in a cold voice, her posture, dress and hair the same as ever. "We have a new student joining us today…_again_. Please welcome her with open arms, and all that usual crap."

She pointed at a girl who was standing right next to her desk. The girl had porcelain skin, platinum blond hair, sky blue eyes and an hour glass figure. Her white button up blouse had its sleeves ripped away, leaving her pale arms bare, with the exception of the spiked bracelets on her wrists, and she wasn't wearing the small tie that was part of the girl's uniform. Her blue, plaid uniform skirt had been hemmed up so that it was up to the middle of her thighs, which, like the rest of her legs, was donned in fishnet stockings, leading to her boot covered feet.

The girl glared at the group of students, causing many of them to raise their eyebrows.

"My name is Crystal Ebony Manson Heart," she said coldly. "I have no parents; they abandoned me, the little fuckers. I hate sexists, girly girls—because we should all be tough and independent, damn it—and, most of all preps—they should all die a painfully slow death."

_Okay, that was a little…mean_, Pinocchio thought. _What did "preps" ever do to her? Better yet, what defines a "prep" anyway…?_

Crystal smirked arrogantly at the class. "And I bet I can kick all of your asses without breaking a sweat."

All of the students, except for a group of unfamiliar girls in the corner, blinked at the newcomer.

**_She only had to say some basic things. We didn't ask for that much information about her…_**

"Right," Lady Tremaine deadpanned. She pointed at the corner with all the girls. "Go sit over there with the rest of them."

Crystal scowled at the old lady—she apparently hated authority figures, but went over there anyway. She found a seat next to another curvy girl with long brown hair that had a blue ribbon in it.

"_Someone's_ got some issues," a student by the name of Jim Hawkins muttered to himself as he went back to his doodling.

"Is that even proper uniform?" Peter asked Pinocchio softly.

Pinocchio shook his head. "I don't think so."

The redhead glared at the girl. "What the hell, man? Every time I try to remove _this_ choker for a day," he pulled angrily at his blue plaid tie, "I get a detention. Why isn't the same happening to her?"

Pinocchio shrugged. "Regardless, don't you find it strange? That's like the fifth time this has happened this week."

"Yeah, that is pretty strange," Peter glanced back at the corner where all the strange new girls sat. "Well, at least they're cute, so it's not that bad," he said carelessly.

Pinocchio rolled his eyes and just sighed. Then he went back to whatever problem Tremaine had assigned for the class.

Meanwhile, Crystal Heart (which she'll be referred to from now on because her name is enough of a mouthful) put her feet over her desk and roved her cold eyes over the classroom, paying close attention to the boys. She scowled. All of them looked like either sexist punks or just plain wimps, and she could tell she would hate them already.

Then her blue eyes landed on a boy and her face went blank.

There he was, right across the classroom—a cutie with blond hair and gentle brown eyes that were currently narrowed in concentration at the paper that had math problems written on it. His form looked skinny at a first glance, but as Crystal took a closer at his build, she discovered that there were actually some lean muscles in that boy. He seemed strong enough to knock a person off their feet, if he tried, but the girl could tell from looking at him that he was _nice_, _respectful_, _trustworthy_ and _honorable_.

Not like her at all…

Crystal blinked, and then smirked slowly.

_Found you._ She mentally laughed.

Arthur Pendragon didn't look up from his paper, but he felt foreboding shivers go down his spine.

* * *

Cinderella looked around the corner to see a certain teenage boy with black hair and brown eyes leaning against his locker. His hair was slicked back smoothly, looking similar to Elvis Presley's hair style. Usually, that look couldn't be pulled off really well. But Charming was just as good as any "King" wannabe—at least in Cindy's eyes.

The blond girl looked away and leaned her back against the wall, breathing harshly. Her pale face was flushed and her heart was racing so much that she couldn't calm it down. She closed her eyes briefly and let out a shuddering breath.

"Come on, Cinderella," she coaxed herself. "Just go talk to him. It's not like it's really a big deal, he's just one guy."

_The one guy you've been dreaming about ever since middle school_.

She sighed. She had to admit it to herself that she had it bad—_really _bad. So bad sometimes that she couldn't even think straight, (which led to a lot of embarrassing moments in her high school life, that's for sure). Cinderella didn't even think Snow White's crush on Charming Knightly could compare to _her_ hard crush on Charming Princely*.

Cinderella smiled to herself, mustering all the confidence that she could. She took a deep breath and turned on the corner to go up and talk to Charming…

When she froze.

Someone else had beaten her to it.

A girl with long black curly hair was smiling up at Charming, her arm linked with his. She was pushing her ample chest against his arm, fluttering her eyes at him. She had the perfect figure and an air about her that screamed "lovely"—Cinderella could see stars and singing birds around her head as she chatted with him with a bright smile.

Since Cinderella was only seeing his back, she couldn't see his expression. But what else would his face be? Any man with a brain and hormones would bow to a woman that beautiful. They'd never notice the poor chick who only managed to come to school partially on scholarship, and partially because her step-mother was a teacher and had connections to the school.

That dark haired girl was a princess worthy of someone like Charming. Cinderella, on the other hand, had nothing to offer except her presentable appearance, and her "great personality" (yeah, right, because we all know how worthy _that_ trait is in the real world).

With eyes stinging, Cinderella turned around and walked away—without ever knowing that Charming Princely didn't even smile at the girl who flirted with him. She will probably never know that the girl didn't impress him one bit…

Mowgli watched the exchange from across the hallway with narrowed eyes, especially when he saw the dark haired girl smirk smugly at Cinderella's back. He hummed to himself and walked away.

Something was wrong. He could feel it.

* * *

Alice grinded her teeth together, her blue eyes blazing with fury. She was about an inch away from killing someone—more likely the chick in front of her who dared to hold up the lunch line. She had the typical hour glass figure, long brown hair, blue eyes and a blue ribbon in her hair.

"Oh, but John," said chick said (more like whine) sadly. "Why don't you love me?"

John Silver, W.D. Academy's chef, was not amused. Actually, if one were to look in his robot eye, they would see it sparking a frustrated red.

"Listen up lassie," he said in his accent. "I've got people to serve that are waiting right behind you. If I keep them waiting, then the students behind you are going to get upset and I could lose my job."

"I don't care what people think or say about us," she cried (no, seriously, her eyes were tearing). "I just want to be with you!"

Alice was at her breaking point.

"Excuse me." She tapped the girl on the shoulder. The girl turned around and smiled brightly at her.

"Yes—?"

"If you're not going to get food, then please," Alice said tightly. Then her voice rose to a screech, her eyes bugging out. "Get off the line! I'm _hungry_, damn it!"

"Yeah," a student behind her exclaimed.

"Just because _you_ might be anorexic doesn't mean that the rest of us are!"

The odd chick glared at them. "All of you just mind your business! You can never understand our love, so just shut up!"

Alice's eye twitched. "Frankly bitch, I don't really care if you're trying to turn him into a pedophile, or not. Just get him arrested when the rest of us aren't starving."

"_Bitch_?" The chick snarled. "Do you have any idea who I _am_?"

"…No, and frankly I don't care."

"My name is Serena Aquamarine Tides Usagi Oceana!" Serena cried out, ignoring Alice. "My parents are dead, and I've been raised by Mickey and his royal court."

_Royal court…?_ Alice raised an eyebrow.

Serena continued, making overdramatic hand gestures worthy of a Yu-gi-OH! episode. "I have been sent here to save the worlds by King Mickey with my super cool weapon—the Sparkle Blade!"

Anyone else who was around to see this spectacle paused and stared at the girl. _The Sparkle Blade…?_

"And part of my mission and tumultuous journey is falling in love with the man who is tortured by the guilt of his mistakes, both past and present, who can only be healed by my pure, kind soul!" She looked tearfully at John Silver. "John Silver."

Long John Silver stared at her. Serena stared back.

…

…

"…Do I even _know_ you?"

* * *

Shanti blinked at her friends as she sat in the lunch table. Especially at Alice, whose tray was piled with as much food as possible. The blonde was shoving food in her mouth, her expression matching that of a wolf—a very pissed off wolf. Pinocchio and Mowgli were sitting a couple of spaces away from her, trying to give her some space. Peter had his head lowered, his hair covering his eyes, as he zoned out, picking his food.

"Uh, did something happen?" Shanti looked from one friend to another.

"We got a new girl today," Pinocchio answered.

"Again," Peter added softly.

"And Alice basically threw down that weird new girl who's obsessed with Silver," Mowgli concluded.

Shanti gaped. "No way."

"Way. Apparently, according to some eyewitnesses (I didn't get to see it happen); Alice got so mad that she grabbed the girl by the collar and threw her across the room."

"I still don't believe it."

"If you want, the girl's in the nurse's office right now," Peter smirked at Shanti. "She's bound to still be sobbing about her bruises."

Pinocchio looked at Alice sternly. "Did you _really _have to go that far, Alice?"

"The bloody bitch wouldn't move, Pinoke," retorted Alice as she stabbed at her food. "She nearly prevented me from getting my pudding. And I _wanted_ my pudding."

As an emphasis, she violently scooped up some chocolate pudding in her spoon and ate it, humming as she swirled the sweetness inside her mouth. As she swallowed, Alice's face broke out into a bright smile that practically lit up the room (at least in Pinocchio's eyes).

Pinocchio shook his head, though he was smiling at her softly. (Of course _he_ had to be the one to fall for the psycho of the group...)

"Wow," Shanti said, smiling amusedly. She then noticed that one of their own wasn't at the table and looked around the lunchroom. "Hey, where's Arthur? Doesn't he have this lunch period with us?"

Peter and Pinocchio both opened their mouths to answer, but a scream from the entrance into the cafeteria did it for them.

Peter's eyes narrowed as he stood up and faced the entrance, seeing a wide-eyed, frantic Arthur looking across the room, obviously looking for his group of friends. When he finally found them, he immediately ran over to the, unconsciously moving behind Pete and hiding behind his shoulder.

"Hide me," he begged softly.

Pinocchio rolled his eyes, while Mowgli, Alice and Shanti quirked their eyebrows in confusion and curiosity.

"From who?" Alice asked.

"Remember that new girl I mentioned before?" Pinocchio asked. When all three nodded, he continued, "Well, apparently she seems to have taken a special interest in Arthur."

Mowgli blinked. "And that's _bad_ because…?"

"Because the psycho bitch knows things about me that she shouldn't know," Arthur snapped, not upset at his friends, but upset with that girl.

Because even he had secrets that nobody—not even his friends, should _ever_ know.

"And let's not forget the fact that she's been stalking me all day, looking like she wants to eat me. It's fucking creepy," he added softly.

"And annoying as hell," Pinocchio added.

"I see. So she's one of _those_," Mowgli deadpanned.

"Yeah, _those_." Arthur scowled. _How could she have known that stuff about me?_

Peter, unusually silent throughout the conversation, caught sight of platinum blond hair and scowled.

"Get under the table," he ordered.

Arthur was confused at first, but then he heard a call echo off the walls of the cafeteria:

"Yo, Blondie where the hell are ya, you little wimp?"

He scowled at the insult. Who did this chick think she was anyway? No matter what information she had on him, that didn't mean that she actually knew anything about him—even if she said she "understood" his pain. And even so, did she honestly believe that calling him names and insulting him would be a turn on of some kind, just because she was the typical bad ass chick? What the hell, man?

Still, he went under the table anyway, because he'd rather hide than deal with an annoyance like her, at least right at the moment.

Peter immediately sat down, his face expressionless. Alice blinked at the scene and then noticed a blond girl walking towards their table, scowling. Pinocchio frowned slightly at her; he didn't like her either.

"Hey, have any of you seen Blondie?" Crystal Heart put her hands on her hips. "From what I've heard, he likes to hang out with _you_ preppy losers—for some reason or another."

"Preppy…?" Shanti asked confused.

"Losers?" Alice twitched slightly.

Pinocchio put a hand on her shoulder, calmly regarding Crystal with cold eyes. "Trust me, she's not worth it," he said to her softly.

Crystal glared at him. "Not that I care what you preps think of me, but you have no right to insult me like that, you little midget!"

Alice bristled and clenched her fists, making Pinocchio squeeze her shoulder in reassurance.

"I apologize," he said to Crystal, though he really wasn't sorry at all.

Crystal smirked. _Now that's more like it. Maybe I could wrap him under my finger as well. He's not really that big of a deal, but it's always nice to have another worshipper_.She glared somewhat at the blonde girl next to him. _Might have to get rid of that little prep bitch though._

"Whatever," she boldly brushed off Pinocchio's manners, making all of them glare at her. "Just tell me where the blonde is."

"He has a name, you know," Shanti pointed out.

"I know _that_, you little prep bitch," Crystal snapped, reveling at how the girl's eyes widened. She smirked; little judgmental preps like her deserved to be put in her place.

Mowgli's dark eyes sparked dangerously as he growled. He made a move to yell at her, but Shanti held him back with a hand on his. When he looked back, he could tell that, though she was slightly hurt at the insult, Shanti didn't want Mowgli to bother wasting his energy on Crystal. That was the beauty of their relationship; they didn't have to talk in order to understand each other.

Crystal noticed the gesture right away and immediately assumed wrong. _That stupid little controlling bitch! A boy like that deserves someone who will give him space, not someone who will take over his life—especially not some prep._

(The hypocrisy of her thoughts, since she was looking to dominate and control Arthur, didn't strike her at all.)

"_Arthur _isn't here at the moment," Peter said coldly. "But even if he was, what would you want with him?"

Crystal blinked at him and then huffed, putting her nose in the air. "That is _none_ of your business, it's between me and Blondie."

Peter's eyes flashed dangerously as he forced out a laugh. "Well then, I'll just have to _make_ it my business." He glared at her. "Stay away from him."

She blinked, and then smirked smugly. "You're just jealous," she said. "Jealous of Arthur because he shares a connection with _me_ through our tragic pasts."

Under the table, Arthur's eyes widened. _No, she wouldn't tell them, would she?_

In fact, Crystal was about to go on a rant about her's and Arthur's sad, "tragic" family lives, when the stupid redhead in front of her dared to stop her before it began.

"Actually, that's not it at all." Peter smirked. "I just believe that you are lower than a cockroach, and that you should leave Arthur alone. If you stopped living in your little world for just a little second, you would realize that your little 'connection' with him is more of an annoyance on him than a comfort, trust me.

"So, I will tell you again, _leave him alone_, or I will _really_ get pissed. And, believe me, you don't want to see me when I'm pissed off," he added darkly.

Crystal was taken aback. From what she'd heard around the school, Peter Pan was a major playboy and flirt (she ignored the whole "bi" thing, because even a fag could fall in love with her). Why wasn't he bowing at her feet with hearts in his eyes, like guys like him were supposed to? Boys like him were supposed to be immediately interested in the feisty type of girls and fight with any rivals in order to win her heart. He should be threatening Arthur, not _her_!

She looked around the table and saw that they all were looking at her coldly, silently saying the same thing. Crystal immediately felt her eyes sting with angry tears. Her lovely face was warped with rage as she glared at them all.

"You little judgmental preps! You will never understand what pain I had to go through," Crystal choked. "My own parents abandoned me because of a power I have—a power that is both my blessing and my curse!"

The friends blinked at her. **_Wait, so suddenly she has a power now...?_**

"I was sent to this orphanage in Europe, where I was tortured and experimented on," she continued, close to sobbing. "It was horrible and traumatizing, but I managed to run away and survive on my own."

Crystal broke into harsh sobs as she recalled those days on the streets. They were hard and rough, but she had survived, albeit barely. And as she did, her powers got stronger, making her more ostracized, since everyone considered her to be a "freak".

"Well, that's _great_ for you," Pinocchio said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

_Even if any of that's true, why does she complain about it so much? There are so many other children out there who have it worse than her, and they sometimes don't ever find themselves getting out of their bad situations. What right does a self-centered little bitch like her have to consider herself so special that she thinks she's the world's only victim? _

"What does any of this have to do with Arthur?" Mowgli asked suddenly.

Crystal quickly calmed down, and she smirked slightly. "Arthur and I will understand each other because we have both realized, at some point in our lives, that our loved ones were never who we thought they were—that those who were supposed to protect us only ended up hurting us..."

Arthur clenched his eyes closed and made tight fists.

_Please no, don't tell them…! I don't want them—or anyone to know about it…_

_I just want to move on._

He opened his mouth to stop her from saying anything else, but someone else beat him to it.

"Okay, stop right there," Peter interrupted.

Crystal blinked. _What the…? _She stared at him as he stood up and walked right in front of her, looking down at her with cold eyes.

"I'm getting really sick of you comparing yourself to Arthur, and so are the rest of us," he said. "We may not know his past, but we know for a fact that he would not be a whiner like _you_, telling everyone his problems just for sympathy points."

Crystal stepped back somewhat, feeling insulted. She opened her mouth to say something, but she was interrupted once again.

"He also wouldn't be making such a huge deal out of his past that he would think that it was him against the world," Mowgli commented. "He's much stronger than that. Instead of letting his past influence him, he'd try hard to grow and move on with his life."

"A girl like you who just spews around her issues to complete strangers is not someone deserving of sympathy," Alice said coldly. "It's just pathetic, not to mention annoying."

"So just do us all a favor," Shanti said, "face reality, and finally get a life outside of whatever delusion you created inside your brain."

Crystal glared at them all, simpering in rage. "You'll see," she hissed. "You will all pay dearly for your judgment."

With that said, she huffed, lifted her nose in the air, and walked away.

Once she was out of the cafeteria, Peter inclined his head downwards.

"You can come out now, she's gone," he said softly.

Arthur crawled out from under the table and sat down in the space next to Pete. "Thanks guys," he said softly.

"No problem, man," Mowgli said.

"Yeah. But now that _that's_ over," Pinocchio began. "Does anyone else happen to notice the influx of new students—all of them girls, or is it just me?"

As he said it, Jim Hawkins was running past the table, screaming, "Get the hell away from me!"

Following him were a bunch of girls with glitter around them, trying to choke each other to get to him.

"**But Jim**," they all cried in unison. "**We love you!**"

"Get back from him bitch!" one of them screamed at the other.

"Oh, no you don't, he's mine!" the other cried out.

"Be my husband, Jim!"

"I want to bear your babies!"

"I don't even know who you people are!" Jim yelled back.

"**JIM WE LOVE YOU!11**"

"HELP ME!"

As soon as they'd come, Jim and his stalkers ran off, leaving behind some smoke.

Alice coughed into her fist and waved away the smoke. "You mean girls like _them_," she pointed out dryly.

"Yeah," Pinocchio deadpanned.

"Then, trust me, it's not just you."

Peter nodded. "Yeah, I mean I'm the last one of us to be disappointed at an influx of cute girls, but _this_ is a little ridiculous for even me."

"Some of them are like Crystal, manipulative girls who try to be excessively bad ass, and buy sympathy with an overdramatic tragic past," Arthur pointed out. "Others have tried to pass themselves as sweet, naïve and pure—mimicking a lot of the other girls, such as Snow White."

"Yeah, I've seen those types in action. They're really not all that nice, no matter how sweet they seem," Mowgli scrunched up his nose. "I just saw one of them purposely spurn Cinderella by stealing her chance to tell Princely her feelings."

Shanti cupped her chin in her hand, contemplating all she heard. "And many of them have sparkles and glitter all around them?"

Mowgli nodded. "Even singing birds coming out of nowhere, at least for the one I saw."

Her eyes widened as she hummed. "I might know what's going on around here." Shanti shifted her gaze nervously and lowered her voice, "But we might have to discuss this after school, during after hours, when everyone's asleep."

Pinocchio quirked an eyebrow. "Why?"

"…Because, if I'm right, then we won't want to risk _them_ hearing us."

* * *

Crystal stomped through the hallways, quickly made sure no one was around to hear her, and then leaned on the lockers. She pulled out a sleek black compact powder and opened it up, letting the luminescent glow illuminate her face, even more than it had been.

"This is MS-9000 to Head, can you hear me?" she greeted.

"What is it now, MS-9000?" a distorted voice spoke from the compact.

"Seems like we'll need some reinforcements," Crystal said softly. "This one might be a little tougher to break."

"Nonsense, dear. Their precious king has abandoned his subjects, leaving them all vulnerable to all of your powers."

"One of them refused me," Crystal ground out. "And his friends aren't falling at my feet either."

There was a pause from the compact. "All right, I'll gather up some more girls. Meanwhile, you don't instigate the invasion unless I say so, understood?"

Crystal gritted her teeth. She hated taking orders—but she had to obey these orders in order to get what she wanted—complete respect, fear and worship.

"Understood…Mother."

* * *

Yeah, this wasn't as funny as it could have been-at least at first glance. My opinion is that the overdramatic-ness makes it all the more humorous.

* I just realized that there are two Prince Charmings-one for Snow White, and the other for Cinderella. I thought I would seperate them by giving them different last names.

Also, I would like to thank Anti-Sue authors such as Defiant Vixen for inspiration...you know, if they ever come across this somehow.


	8. Interlude: Too Hot

**What can I say? I was inspired one day (after seeing a certain SP fanart :D) and wrote this. I know I should have the third part of "The Invasion" up, but life's been getting in the way of my big projects, so I only have these little ones to offer you.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Disney, and even if I somehow managed to do it, I'd be killed by the mob of angry parents and older Disney fans.**

* * *

**~Too Hot~**

Seven year old Shanti hugged her winter coat tighter to her body as the snowflakes continued to fall. She was currently waiting for her mommy or daddy to come pick her up from elementary school, and she was getting colder and colder by the second.

"You okay?"

She turned towards the voice and saw one of her friends. Shanti smiled.

"I-I'm okay, Mowgli," she replied, shivering somewhat. "J-just a little cold, that's all."

Mowgli hummed and nodded, looking like he understood. But how could he? He was wearing a thick red winter jacket with a hood, a scarf around his neck, and big brown gloves on his hands.

Just looking at him reminded Shanti of how she should have listened to her mom this morning and put on that big coat she had gotten a few days ago.

Shanti clenched her eyes closed and hugged herself tighter, whimpering slightly. So cold...

Suddenly she felt two warm things cover her ears. She blinked her eyes and saw that Mowgli was standing in front of her, smiling at her mysteriously. Then she realized that he had his gloved hands over her ears.

Shanti beamed. "Thanks, Mowgli. I feel much--"

She was cut off when something warm and soft brushed against her lips. The contact had been brief, but it felt longer to her. Her eyes widened to the size of saucers, and she couldn't help but notice that Mowgli's face was so close to hers that it was practically blurry.

As Shanti began to realize the situation, she felt her face heat up as her blood surged.

Finally, much to Shanti's surprising dissapointment, it was over, and Mowgli was grinning down at her again.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

Shanti swallowed; her throat suddenly felt dry.

"_Too_ hot."


	9. Interlude 2: FINALS

**~F.I.N.A.L.S.~**

Ah, finals…

In other words:

"_**F**__UCK, __**I **__**n**__ever __**a**__ctually __**l**__earned this __**s**__hit!"_

Everyone in the W.D. library cringed as the bellow bounced off the walls. Then they all glared at the yeller, who blatantly ignored them. (Either that, or he didn't care.)

Belle, however, barely looked up from her text book. "That's what you get for goofing off all semester."

Adam glared. "Oh shut up, nerd."

His girlfriend couldn't help but hide a smirk.

Moral of the story:

_Finals week sucks **ass!**_

(…Except for nerds, but those smug bastards don't really count so…yeah.)

* * *

Thank you stupid, but funny FaceBook bumper stickers. You inspire me.

Just a little "dedication" to Finals week, which starts next Monday. I have to do a math and philosophy next week. Then on the Monday after that, I have my psych final, and my English research paper is due.

Hopefully, after finals is over I'll be able to put up Part 3 of The Invasion. It's almost done, I just have to put the finishing touches, revise it a little, etc. So, sorry again for the wait.

Damn you finals!! :(

BTW: No offense to any nerds out there. It's just too easy to make a joke about it.


	10. The Invasion Part 3

**Note: I was going to make this into one chapter, but I decided to split it up. So, now it's four parts instead of 3. Enjoy. And be sure to read the note on the bottom.**

**Edit: In case anyone's wondering, yeah, I've been doing some slight editing of the chapters. Nothing big or extraordinary, just a few minor changes here and there. Hope no one minds.**

* * *

**~The Invasion~**

**Part 3 of 4 (now)**

It was night time, about ten o'clock, when everyone in W.D. was asleep or at least inside their dorm rooms with the lights out.

From on his bed, Pinocchio opened his eyes and checked to make sure his roommate, Christopher Robin, was asleep. When he saw that the quiet teenage boy's eyes were closed and his breathing was steady, Pinocchio sighed, relieved. Then he quietly got out of bed, dressed up in a blue t-shirt and navy sweat pants, and headed for the door.

As he opened the door, he looked from side to side, to make sure that no one was in the hallway. When he was sure of himself, Pinocchio started for the library, where he was supposed to meet his friends. He was almost caught by one of Maleficent's crows, but he luckily managed to avoid getting caught all the way to the library.

Once he was in front of the door, it automatically opened and a pair of hands yanked him inside, knocking the wind out of him. Once the door was closed, Pinocchio saw the person who had pulled him in and scowled, annoyed.

"Damn it, Pete can't I just walk in the library normally?" he snapped.

Peter (dressed up in a black and forest green striped shirt and jeans) grinned. "You could have, but I decided to go for the old 'pull them in before anyone catches them' cliché." He smirked. "I've always wanted to do that."

Before Pinocchio could do it, Arthur (dressed in a red and gold hoodie and dark brown sweat pants) walked up and smacked the redhead upside the head, shaking his head. Though it didn't hurt at all, Peter grasped the back of his head and glared at the blonde.

"Hey!"

Arthur blatantly ignored him and smiled apologetically down at Pinocchio. "Sorry Pinoke. _Someone _had a little too much sugar tonight." He looked pointedly at Peter for emphasis.

Peter scowled back at him. "Oh please, I did not have that much."

Arthur raised an eyebrow critically. "You don't think having those three Snicker bars, those ten Starbursts, five TwixMixes, and that _huge_ cookie isn't a lot of sugar?"

Pinocchio blinked. "All in _one_ night?"

Arthur nodded and stared at Peter, waiting for his rebuttal. Pinocchio joined in, just to make the guy squirm. Peter looked from one boy to the other and glared indignantly at them.

"Oh come on, Halloween was just, like, practically months ago!" He exclaimed. "_And_ we didn't have anything to do during the past two or so months, due to the authoress's _laziness_—"

Before Peter could complete the sentence, a random large iron pot fell from the ceiling and fell on his head, causing him to crash face first on the floor. (1)

Both of the other boys gaped at the scene slack jawed for a few minutes. Then Pinocchio burst out laughing, grabbing his stomach and pointing at the pained Peter Pan. Arthur covered his mouth and hid some of his laughter with coughs. Then he cleared his throat to calm himself, approaching the boy.

He removed the pot and crouched down to the wounded boy's level. "You okay, Pete?"

"Yeah," was the groaned response. Peter stood up, rubbed the top of his head soothingly, and growled under his breath, "Damn bitch of an authoress."

"Careful," Pinocchio gasped as he got himself under control. "You might anger her again."

At that, Peter's eyes darted fearfully upward, towards the ceiling…

He could've sworn he heard growling from beyond it.

Mowgli (red sweat shirt and black pants) and Alice (blue Sweet Lolita nightgown) poked their heads from an aisle of books and regarded the group impatiently.

"Um, _hello_?" Alice said, getting their attention.

"Weird girls taking over our school? Main plot of arc? Any of this ringing a bell?" Mowgli added.

Pinocchio's shoulders slumped. "That's right."

"The plot," Peter added, his tone just as downtrodden.

Arthur sighed, already starting to walk towards Alice and Mowgli. "Come on gents," he waved to his two friends. "The faster we get this over with, the faster we can get back to our _Lucky Star_-esque school days." (2)

The three boys joined Alice and Mowgli. Pinocchio looked around, noticing that someone was missing.

"Where's Shanti?" he asked.

Mowgli pointed his thumb backwards. "In the library's restricted section."

Pinocchio stared. "…Our school library has a restricted section?"

"Yeah, I know."

Alice huffed and folded an arm over her chest. "Totally a _Harry Potter _rip off."

Arthur scowled and nodded with her, his pride as a Brit showing. "Damn Americans," he muttered.

All the non-British people in the room rolled their eyes in unison. (3)

In a matter of few minutes, Mowgli had led them to the back of the library, which had about ten rows of books that were hidden behind a huge black gate, which was currently unlocked. Inside, if one were to look hard enough, was Shanti (white t-shirt and purple pajama pants) who was looking through a huge, old looking book that had a patch lock on its cover. Her eyes were narrowed in concentration as she flipped from page to page, muttering to herself.

"Now where was that chapter?" she asked herself. "I'm sure it's in here somewhere. I just looked in this last week…"

Arthur walked up to her and looked over her shoulder. "What are you looking for?"

"There's a name for those weird girls who've come to our school," she explained without looking at him. "They are supposed to be beings created by people, but that's all I can remember."

He thought for a moment. "Try the Homunculi section. Maybe there is something there."

Shanti quirked an eyebrow at him. "Why the Homunculi section?"

"Because a homunculus is a manmade, living doll." Arthur shrugged. "The two have to be related somehow."

She hummed and then shrugged, already turning the pages to get to the section on how to make a homunculus. When she got there, Shanti skimmed the page until she got to a sentence that featured a vaguely familiar term.

…"_One of the more well known homunculi is the demon of perfection and annoyance known as a __**Mary Sue**__…"_

Shanti's eyes widened. _Mary Sue…_

"That's it!"

Everyone blinked at her.

"What's it Shanti?" Mowgli asked.

She turned to look at them. "That's what those girls are—Mary Sues!"

Peter quirked an eyebrow. "Wait, you mean those sins against all literature—both fanfiction and original—that people call characters?"

Shanti nodded solemnly. "Afraid so."

Alice snorted and crossed her arms. "Well, that's not a huge surprise."

"But that doesn't make any sense," Arthur cupped his chin thoughtfully. "Those characters are nothing more than concepts. They shouldn't actually exist in real life."

Mowgli shrugged. "Someone must have found a way to make them real."

"Yes, but who?" Shanti wondered out loud.

Pinocchio narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. "And what could they want?"

"Those are both very excellent questions."

The group of teenagers gasped and/or jumped at the new voice. They all turned around to see a certain life size, talking, female mouse who was looking at them all solemnly. Standing next to her was an equally solemn Daisy Duck.

"Ms. Minnie, Daisy," Alice addressed them, somewhat shaky due to the shock.

"What are you two doing down here?" Mowgli asked, voicing everyone else's question.

Minnie smiled wryly. "Oh come on, kids. My husband's your Headmaster. You think I'm not going to know when a student is sneaking off after hours?"

Mowgli scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Good point."

Shanti stepped forward from the forbidden section and bowed her head. "I'm sorry Minnie, it's my fault. I'm the one who told them to meet me down here."

"But it was only so we could find out more about the…'new students'," Pinocchio added in her defense.

"We know," Daisy said.

"And we also know what 'they' are," Minnie added seriously.

Peter's eyes narrowed. "Wait, if you know then why aren't you doing something about it?"

"Right now Mickey, Donald and Goofy _are_ doing something about it," Daisy replied.

"Is that why we haven't seen them lately?" Pinocchio asked.

Minnie nodded, her eyes downcast.

Arthur looked at the two critically. "Ms. Minnie, Ms. Daisy I don't mean to sound rude, but is the situation really that serious?"

Minnie and Daisy shared a glance, and then they nodded at the children.

"**Yes, it is."**

Mowgli's eyes narrowed. "How serious are we talking here?"

"Serious enough that you students will have to use weapons to defend yourselves when the time is right." Minnie replied. "Magic will not work with these creatures, so you'll have to use physical combat with them."

With that said, she waved her gloved hands back and forth, until six glowing objects were hovering above each student's head. As she gave another gentle wave, all the glowing objects landed in each teenager's hand and stopped glowing.

Pinocchio held up his weapon, looking a little uneasy. "A hatchet?"

"Trench knives." Mowgli grinned as he tried on the brass knuckle-like weapons. "Awesome."

There was a disturbing glint of eagerness in Alice's eyes as she held up her weapon. "A butcher's knife."

"A bat." Arthur held up a steel bat with the word "EXCALIBUR" on it. (4)

"A shovel." Shanti quirked an eyebrow critically at the spade.

"And a switchblade." Peter flicked his weapon to look at the blade.

The teenagers were silent for a good few moments as they stared down at their weapons. Then they stared at each other, their faces blank. They then stared at Minnie and Daisy, who smiled brightly back at them, blinking slowly.

Finally someone decided to break the silence with the sound of one clearing their throat.

"Okay, well since no one else is gonna say it, I might as well be the first." Peter's eyes blazed as he held his knife up. "WHAT. THE. FUCK, man?"

Daisy and Minnie's smiles became strained as beads of sweat broke out on their foreheads.

"You tell us we need weapons, and you give us fucking _melee_?" He continued to rage. "Couldn't you at least give us something that delivers at least 99+ damage? Such as a Buster Sword, for instance. Maybe even a Gunblade." Peter snorted. "Hell, even a friggin Keyblade would be better than _this_," he held up the knife with disdain.

Mowgli blinked at him, mildly amused. "I think the Keyblade counts as a melee weapon, Pete."

"Yeah, but it at least has some power, and it can do a lot of damage. This thing, however," he sarcastically swung the small blade by its hilt, "won't even cut off a hand."

Daisy let her strained smile fall and sighed. "Yes, we know that the weapons are…unorthodox."

"But we have a reason," Minnie quipped.

"And that would be…" Alice asked, trailing off.

The female mouse closed her eyes wisely. "These weapons have been especially chosen for each and every one of you, the choices being based on your souls."

There was a pregnant pause after that. The teenagers blinked, looked at each other, and then looked back at Daisy and Minnie again. Their faces were blank and expressionless.

"**Bull shit."**

Minnie scowled and rolled her eyes, putting her hands on her hips. "Fine, you children want to know the truth?"

They all nodded.

"We have two words for you," Daisy said dryly. Minnie walked up beside her, her face deadpan.

"**Budget cuts." **

* * *

Crystal Heart was sitting on the school roof when her compact went off. She fished it out of her jacket pocket and flipped it open.

"What is it?"

"_There's been a change of plans," _the voice replied. _"We've been unexpectedly discovered."_

Crystal's eyes widened. "How? Who?"

"_I believe you've come across them in your infiltration of W.D."_

For a few moments of bemusement, she blinked.

And then her icy blue eyes narrowed and she sneered.

"Those preppy losers…" Crystal clenched her free hand into a tight fist.

"_Their queen and her advisor have informed them, and have given them weapons."_

She snorted. "Mother, I can assure you, those preps are no threat to us and our cause. I can take care of each and every one of them, no problem."

"_Including your Chosen?"_

"I shall offer him to join me once more." Crystal smirked. "If he refuses, I'll easily dispose of him and move my sights onto another, one more willing and less resistant to my beauty and charm."

Her creator chuckled. _"Very good, Crystal. I did well with you."_

Crystal bowed her head "humbly", inwardly smirking with pride. Hell yeah, she was the best Mary Sue out there—bad ass skills, beautiful, and with a heartfelt tragic past to top it off. She deserved whatever praise and attention she received, especially from potential love interests (a.k.a. her slaves).

"Thank you, Mother," she replied, playing the part.

"_Gather up your best Sues and prepare to dispose of the rebels," _Mother commanded. _"Be sure to use the new batch, just in case."_

The Mary Sue in High Command smirked widely. _Finally_, her moment to shine as the ultimate Sue has arrived.

"Will do."

* * *

Pinocchio groaned and turned his head, feeling something solid hit his head. Though the slight impact was dull, it was enough to coax him wide awake as he sat up, bumping his head once again on a surface, only this time harder.

He winced his eyes closed and grabbed his head. "Ow, Walt damn it!"

When he opened his eyes again, he realized that he had bumped into some kind of…cover of some kind. Pinocchio focused his eyes on his cramped surroundings, and his eyes widened when he slowly realized where he was.

_A trunk…I'm in a trunk of some kind._

Pinocchio cupped his forehead and closed his eyes. _How did I get in here...and why don't I remember?_

He opened his eyes and scowled. However way he got here, none of that mattered anymore. All he knew now was that he had to get out. Pinocchio sat up again, minding his head, and pushed on the lid of the trunk, grunting. When that didn't work, he tried to push on the two walls on either side.

_Drip…drip…_

Pinocchio's eyes widened as he froze.

_Drip…drip…_

His gaze followed the source to the sound. It came from the front right corner of the trunk…

A strangled sound escaped his mouth as he saw clear, liquid drops fall from the top of the trunk, down to the bottom of that corner, splashing only faintly as a small puddle started to form.

Something caught on the side caught his eye. It was a small circle shaped window, like the ones seen on ships. Outside were swaying plants, and fish that swam passed the small porthole.

Pinocchio's hands curled back to him as he gathered his knees to his chest. His heart raced and his breathing got harsher, to the point that he was hyperventilating. He couldn't try to get out now. If he did, he would be drowned in all that…all that…

_Water…_

So, he did the only thing he could do:

"_HELP!"_

* * *

Alice's eyes snapped open as she sat up straight. She exhaled as she held her head and wiped the sheen of cold sweat that had gathered there. She could still hear that faint scream echo inside her head…

Her eyes narrowed. Something was wrong with Pinocchio, she knew it. But what? And how had he gotten in trouble anyway?

_Also_, Alice mentally added as she took in her surroundings. It seemed like she was sitting on some green, leafy hill under a glass ceiling that revealed that it was still nighttime.

_How did I get _here_?_

Last thing she remembered they had all been in the library, receiving "weapons" (damn budget cuts; no, better yet, damn recession) from Minnie and Daisy, and then…

Nothing—Alice's mind was completely blank.

"What a load of bollocks," she grumbled. She made a move to stand up…

Only to fall through the leaves, screaming out in shock and fear.

As she fell, Alice noticed that she was surrounded by tree branches that she'd only seen on National Geographic documentaries on jungles.

She put her hands on her hips, scowling petulantly at her surroundings (yes, as she was falling).

"What the deuce? How the bloody hell did I end up in a jungle?"

Alice blinked thoughtfully, and then her eyes dulled in a bored fashion. "No matter. It's not like this is the _weirdest_ thing that's happened to me."

With that said, she started to flail around as she fell, trying to grab onto something that could stop her fall. Her hand brushed against something solid and she immediately grabbed onto it, halting gravity on her momentarily.

The vine swung Alice forward and snapped apart as a result of the pressure of her fall, and as such, caused her to lose her grip on it. Alice yelped and flailed her hand out some more, grabbing onto another thick vine and holding it tighter than the first one, wounding her legs around it.

She looked back at the first vine and hummed thoughtfully. "That was actually kind of fun…"

Alice turned her head around and her eyes widened when she saw that she was swinging towards a tree at lightning speed. She gasped and instinctively pushed her legs forward, bending them at the knees when her feet landed on the bark. While still holding onto the vine, Alice ran across the tree and jumped away from it, continuing her vine swinging until it suddenly stopped, the vine swinging back and forth.

"Ha-ha!" She turned her head and laughed haughtily at the tree who'd tried to "attack" her. "That's what you get, nature! Not bad for an English girl in a nightgown, eh?"

Then Alice had a sudden thought that froze her smug face: _Weren't there branches on that tree I could have landed on?_

She frowned, her eyes lidded.

"Damn."

"Hello, there little girl," a smooth voice from above greeted.

Alice blinked and looked up. Hanging a few inches above her head was a boa constrictor that smiled down at her kindly, its eyes swirling hypnotically.

"_Trust in me~,"_ it sang in a hissing voice. (5)

She blinked, staring at it.

Then she screamed and flailed one of her hands, hitting the obscene creature on the head.

"Ew! Get away! Get away!"

"Ow, Walt!" The snake glared, baring its fangs. "Oh, fine! Be that way, little bitch."

With that said, he chomped down on the vine, snapping it between his fangs.

Alice's eyes widened as the detached part of the vine she was holding went limp in her hands. She lifted her hand to look at it with a blank expression.

Then she turned her head to look at you (the readers) wryly.

"Well this sucks, doesn't it?"

As soon as that was said, gravity was reactivated and she was soon quickly falling to her death, her high pitched screaming fading as her figure shrunk.

The snake huffed, glaring up at the sky. "Damn it, I never get them."

Meanwhile, Alice was kneeling on the air as she fell, her hands clasped as she looked pleadingly at the ceiling. Her hair was waving above her as a result of the falling, and she had folded her gown between her legs so it wouldn't lift up.

"Please save me Lord Walt," she prayed out loud. "I swear that I won't curse again, I won't throw down annoying girls again (no matter how tempting it might be), and I'll…_try _not to have improper, possibly slightly dominatrix-like thoughts involving me and Pinocchio, and—"

Suddenly she landed on a pair of arms that carried her bridal style. Alice blinked her eyes up at her savior and grinned.

"Mowgli!"

Mowgli nervously grinned down at her, his face flushed with slight fatigue. "Don't thank me just yet."

Shanti, who was on his back—her arms wrapped around his neck and his legs wrapped around his torso in a piggy back ride—looked over her shoulder, her face panicked.

"Mowgli, they're gaining on us again!"

Alice blinked worriedly. "'They'?"

The sound of about a hundred angry baboons answered her question, making her eyes widen as she swallowed nervously.

Mowgli cursed under his breath, his dark eyes glinting with courage as he jumped onto another longer branch and started to surf down it.

"Hold on tight, ladies. This might get rough."

* * *

Peter groaned as he opened his eyes to see that he was in what looked like a prison cell. He tried moving, but found that his wrists were shackled to the wall together, high above his head.

"Whoa." He blinked thoughtfully as an ominous shiver went down his spine. "Talk about déjà vu." (6)

He shook his head and glared around his cell, seeing only walls. There was no means of escape.

"Damn it," he growled under his breath. "Where am I? And how the hell did I _get_ here?"

Pete closed his eyes and tried to remember.

Typically, his mind came up blank. The only thing he could recall were he and his friends in the school library, Minnie Mouse and Daisy had given them all shitty weapons, he had put his said shitty weapon away, and then…

_Yeah, I got nothin'._

He groaned and banged the back of his head against the wall. "I hate retrograde amnesia."

"…Pete?"

Peter blinked at the familiar voice. "Arthur?"

Inside the prison next to Peter's, Arthur sighed, relieved. "Thank Walt; I thought I was here alone."

"Great…Where exactly is _here_ anyway?"

Arthur glanced at his own cell, leaning his head up to look out the window that had been conveniently placed inside it. He didn't see much, but he saw enough to know that he and Peter were inside a building of some sort.

After a while of thinking, he said, "I'm guessing a panopticon."

Pete blinked. "Yeah, let's pretend I don't know what that is."

"It's a prison that was created in the late 1700s," Arthur explained. "Basically, it's this circular building with dozens, maybe even hundreds of cells surrounding a lone watchtower in the center, where the guard is supposed to be."

His eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "The thing that makes the panopticon unique is that the prisoners could never see into the watchtower; they never saw who was watching them. For all they knew, no one was watching them. But no prisoner wanted to take the risk of trying getting caught trying to escape.

"This bred the psychological phenomenon 'panopticism,' thought up by the philosopher Michel Foucault, who basically said that people become their own prisoners due to the fear of an unknown 'guard', like Big Brother from _1984_." (7)

Pause.

"So…what you're basically saying is that if we escape we'll probably be just as screwed if we stay in these cells."

"In laymen's terms, yes."

Pregnant pause.

"Wow…Arthur?"

"…Yeah?"

"You are such a nerd."

"…_What?" _

* * *

For at least half an hour, both Shanti and Alice had obeyed Mowgli and put their trust onto him as he slid down the thick, jungle tree branches like a surfer, quickly putting some distance between the three of them and their animal pursuers. He occasionally jumped from branch to branch, making sure to keep his girlfriend and friend safe, though it took a lot of effort that had left him with aching muscles and sweating skin.

Finally, Alice shakily looked over at the family of screeching, furious baboons. "W-what do you suppose they want?"

"I don't know," Shanti whimpered. "The little baby one just sniffed me and squeaked at me for a little bit. I didn't understand him, so I walked away. Then he cried and got his—uh, family to surround me."

Mowgli narrowed his eyes in thought. "I can probably try to talk to them, but it might be a little difficult."

"Why's that?" Alice blinked at him. "Wait a minute—since when can you talk to animals?"

"Well, one: because they sound nothing like the Bandar-log back in India (8); I guess they're speaking in some African dialect." He smirked. "And two: I've always been able to talk to animals."

Shanti grinned proudly. "That's my feral, jungle boyfriend for you."

"You know you love it, babe," Mowgli teased as he looked at her over his shoulder.

"Well, I'd hate to interrupt any further flirting between you two, but…" Alice gestured behind them impatiently.

Mowgli nodded, his face turning serious. "Right."

After making a sharp turn he stopped in his tree surfing and set Alice down on the branch, and then Shanti soon after. He looked at the two of them.

"Stay out of sight until it's safe, okay." Mowgli smiled pointedly at Shanti. "I'll be right back."

"You better be," she said loudly as he jumped out of sight to face the baboons. "Please be careful," she added softly.

Alice gently pulled her friend back. "Come on, there's a hole in the tree that we can hide in."

Shanti quirked an eyebrow. "That's oddly convenient."

"Yeah, I know."

The two girls hid inside the hollow with their knees on their chests, peeking through the hole as Mowgli faced off the animals.

He swallowed nervously, eyeing the bloodthirsty baboons heading toward him. Then Mowgli morphed his face into one of anger and glared at them. When they were getting closer, he held out his hand.

"STOP!"

(cue sound effects of screeching tires!)

Shanti covered her eyes, sniffling. "I can't look."

Alice blinked. "Shanti, you should look."

The girl opened an eye and looked through her fingers. Shanti blinked and saw that the herd of baboons had stopped on a close branch across from Mowgli, huffing and puffing angrily his face. However, Mowgli was undeterred by the animals' fury. Instead he stood his ground and glared straight at, presumably, their leader, which had a brown baby baboon on its shoulder.

The leader screeched and jumped furiously, eyes burning into the jungle boy.

Mowgli scowled and let out some loud screeches of his own, making sure to have his eyes burning with just as much rage, if not more, than the baboon leader. (It was one of the basic laws of Nature after all; either _intimidate_, or be _intimidated_.)

Alice and Shanti watched the two of them as they exchanged screeches and growls only they could understand. The baboon would wave its fist in Mowgli's face, while Mowgli would growl and snarl back, baring his teeth with the hostility of a wolf. The "conversation" went on for a good six to ten minutes, when finally both the baboon and Mowgli seemed to gasp and then slowly grin at each other. Then the exchange started to become more amiable, with the human boy laughing, while the animal would lift its arms in an almost mocking manner.

Shanti tilted her head. "Okay…_I'm_ confused."

Alice just nodded in agreement.

Not only were the girls confused, but the heard of baboons as well, including the young one on the leader's shoulder. They all looked at each other, scratching their heads and lifting their haunches in a shrug, and just watched the exchange without a word.

As he chuckled, Mowgli caught Shanti's eye and smiled reassuringly, waving her to come out. The young girl hesitated, but slowly climbed out of the tree hollow and went to his side, making sure not to fall off the branch. She blinked at the lack of reaction from the baboons, but still clung to Mowgli's shoulder, just in case. Alice soon followed. Somehow, the whole situation became safe.

Mowgli looked at the baboon leader, spoke to him for a bit, and then wrapped his arm around Shanti, lightly gesturing to her questioningly.

The baboon looked at her, causing her eyes to widen and a soft "eep" emit from her mouth. As the baboon started to speak, Mowgli squeezed her shoulder comfortingly, while also listening intently to the baboon.

Finally, the boy let out an exasperated sigh. "You've gotta be kidding me."

"What?" Shanti wondered. "What did it say?"

"Apparently, the reason this whole mess started was because his baby wanted your necklace."

Both she and Alice arched an eyebrow in disbelief.

"You can't be serious," Alice said softly.

"Kid likes shiny things." Mowgli shrugged. "What can you do?"

Shanti fingered her necklace subconsciously. "Should I give it to him?"

"I'd recommend it, but it's really up to you."

The baboon leader nodded also, not really understanding the teens based on their language, but their gestures.

For a few minutes she just looked from Mowgli, to the head baboon, and then to the herd of baboons behind their leader. Finally, she sighed.

"Whatever." Shanti quickly removed her necklace. "It's not that nice of a piece of jewelry anyway."

She handed it to the little baboon, which squealed happily as it snatched it out of her hands and hugged the shiny object to its chest.

The baby's parent nodded at her gratefully, which Shanti reluctantly, but politely, returned. Then it hopped off the tree branch and both it and its baby went off into the jungle to continue whatever they were doing. The rest of the baboons soon followed.

Alice sat down on the branch, straddling it, and sighed with relief. Then she looked up at Mowgli.

"What did you talk about anyway?"

"Apparently, the baboon knew King Louie."

Shanti blinked. "The orangutan that you always mention?"

He sighed. "Yep."

"But how would an African baboon know him?"

Mowgli shrugged. "Search me. Orangutans aren't native to Africa—or India, now that I think about it. They are mostly located in Borneo. Louie probably likes to travel a lot to different countries, just for the hell of it."

"Also, what are African baboons doing here in the first place?" Shanti asked.

"This doesn't seem like a jungle, I think it's more like a greenhouse," Alice commented, recalling the glass ceiling she woke up to.

"Correct." Mowgli crouched down and touched the bark of the tree. "Though these trees look like those of African jungles, they are nothing like the real thing. They just don't look the same, since they've been grown on American soil, rather than their native one."

He stood up and listened intently to the forest. He heard the sounds of other animals, animals that were lost, angry, and confused.

"This isn't their home," he said softly. "Someone transported them here."

Shanti swallowed, also hearing the sounds (particularly a growl of a large cat). "W-why though? Why go through all this trouble?"

Alice glared coldly ahead at an unseen enemy. "To trap us, most likely. I don't see any nearby exits here, do you two?" she added at their questioning gaze.

"No, I don't." Mowgli's eyes narrowed. "But I'll find one, trust me."

"I know it'd be stupid of me to ask," Shanti sighed. "But who do you think is behind this?"

"Who else?" Alice laughed humorlessly. "Besides all the obvious suspects (9), I mean."

Mowgli snorted. "Fucking Mary Sues."

"Ah. Now, just answer one more question," Alice quipped.

"Sure. What is it?"

"…Where did you learn to surf like that Mowgli?"

He chuckled and sheepishly scratched the back of his head. "I learned it from watching this cool guy on television. He did these awesome stunts in the African jungle; he swung from vines and surfed tree branches like they were waves, or a skateboard rink or something. I could only hope that I could one day be as talented as him…"

Mowgli trailed off, his eyes sparkling ambitiously (and fan boyishly). Shanti giggled at his glowing face, while Alice smirked, amused.

"Speaking of which," he quipped brightly, looking at the two girls. "How did I do for my first try?"

Both of the girls looked at each other, blinking with blank faces. They both recalled Mowgli's previous movements, the twists and turns, the defying of gravity as he jumped flawlessly onto branch after branch, repeating his maneuvers…

The girls faces turned green as their cheeks puffed out. Then they leaned their heads down and proceeded to gag off screen.

Mowgli looked anything but amused as he gave a wry side-glance to you (the readers).

"Tch. Everybody's a critic."

* * *

1. You: (glare)

Me: (blink) What? You all saw it; he provoked me.

2. _Lucky Star_, the Queen of all random animes that have no real plot, only humor! It has twice the humor of _Azumanga Daioh _and _School Rumble _combined, and is ten times more epic with its dance. Look it up and watch it. Now.

3. Here's how I see their nationalities:

Pinocchio: Italian, because his story was originally an Italian tale.

Mowgli and Shanti: Indian. God, I feel so stupid calling Mowgli black before.

Peter Pan: I'm thinking Scottish, because Barrie was Scottish.

4. Excalibur was the name of the sword King Arthur used in Arthurian legend. I'm not sure if this is the same sword he pulled from the stone, or if it's the one the Lady of the Lake gave to him. I've never really read any Arthurian books. I've only researched on the legend.

5. Dear sweet God, if none of you know who this is, I will give you a cyber smack upside the head.

6. A reference to my other fanfic (which I still have to update; ARGH!) "Nothing Sacred". I wouldn't recommend reading it, at least not unless you don't have a problem with seeing some disturbing images, or reading unnerving themes that involve certain Disney characters.

7. All true facts; at least, they are as true as Wikipedia says they are. If you want, you can double check. The only thing not included is the comparison to _1984_. God, I love that book. It scared me a little bit, but my thirteen year old self couldn't help but love it anyway.

8. The Bandar-log is the name for the monkeys in _The Jungle Book_. In the original, King Louie wasn't a part of them, seeing as orangutans certainly aren't native to India. I put on an explanation for that, since Disney never touched up on it. Then again, would a child really care...? (Hmm...)

9. By "usual suspects" Alice means the Disney villains, of course.

**Please review, even if you see something wrong-just please be constructive. (Or if you flame me, at least have the decency to tell me why you hate it so much.)**


	11. Invasion Extra: Timon and his SueStu

**Warning: hinted relationship ahead, this time of the Pumbaa and Timon variety, to fulfill a request from a reader and inspirational writer. If you don't like, then please, go back. I won't stop you. **

**But I swear to god, it's as clean as I could make it, I promise! As raunchy as this fic is, I swear that these two characters, along with others of my favorite animal Disney characters, will be handled as respectfully as I could make them out to be.**

**BTW, if you happen to know who I'm referencing in this fic, then please don't get mad and flame happy. This was all done for the sake of entertainment and parody, not to hurt anyone's feelings, though it might look like the opposite.**

* * *

**~Extra: Timon and his Stu/Sue~**

_Clopin's Voiceover: A few hours before our heroes went down to the library that evening, a certain meerkat went through issues of his own, of the Sue kind. Let's watch the humiliation and creepiness, shall we?_

Being a meerkat in a school where the majority of the student body is bigger and stronger than you, Timon rarely considered his small size the best thing in the world. It wasn't that he had a complex or anything; Timon was a meerkat, and damn it, he was proud of that. But sometimes being small had its disadvantages...as well as advantages themselves.

"Okay, the coast is clear," he whispered to himself as he turned a corner. "Now, I just have to—"

"Timon, my love!" A high pitched voice cried from across the hall, "I see you!"

Timon slumped, his eyes hooded wryly. "Ah, crud."

He turned to face a female meerkat with the fur that was the same shade, and featured the stripes like that of a tiger—who ran straight for him.

"My adorable meerkat!" She hugged him, to which Timon immediately stiffened. "How are you?"

"I was fine until you got here," he muttered under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." Timon sighed and put his hands on her shoulders, putting about an arm's length of distance between them. "Listen, Miss—"

"Eimon!" She beamed.

"Right." He returned her smile with a strained version, trying to avoid direct eye contact. "I don't think I made this clear when we met this morning—"

"Oh, Timon, you don't have any idea how many times I've thought about our meeting," Eimon gushed. "I've dreamed of this since I was a little girl; meeting you, you immediately falling in love with me, us having babies," she broke off sighing, looking up at him dreamily.

Timon's smile became more strained as he sweated nervously. "Uh-huh," he grit out.

"Now, what was it you wanted to tell me?"

Our favorite meerkat stared at the obviously unwell female for a good few moments before coughing awkwardly into his fist.

"Eimon, I need you to understand something about…this," he gestured between the two of them. "It's never going to happen."

Eimon blinked, her smile twitching. "What do you mean?" she asked with a slight edge in her light voice.

Timon sighed. He really didn't want to hurt this person, but if this is what it had to come down to, then so be it. He gripped her shoulder and looked directly into her eyes, his face stern and serious (contrary to his usual carefree personality).

"I'm gay."

Eimon's smile stayed frozen on as she stared at him for a long, long time. Timon stared back at her, to show that he wasn't fooling around.

Then, finally:

"Silly, I knew _that_."

That threw Timon over. He gaped at her in disbelief.

"You did?! Then why the hell won't you leave me alone?"

"Because I wanted to introduce me to my alter-ego."

Timon raised an eyebrow. "Alter-ego?"

Eimon nodded enthusiastically, and then she spun around at rapid speed, to the point that she was as blurry as Tasmanian Devil, when he went on his rampages. After a while, the spinning stopped and revealed someone who took Eimon's place.

The male meerkat, who looked oddly like Timon with more hair, flipped his black hair and smiled at Timon sultrily.

"Hi," spoke a baritone voice.

Timon blinked, and blinked, and blinked some more. Then he slowly turned around.

"…I'm out of here."

The Gary Stu meerkat blinked, and then he ran after Timon, panicked. Because of his power of super speed, he was able to tackle Timon to the floor, to which Timon glared at him.

"Get off me!" He kicked the meerkat- Stu off him.

"Wait, baby, give me a chance," he begged on his knees, strangely not looking damaged from the kick. "I'll absolutely kill myself if you don't!"

Timon's eyes narrowed. "You're bluffing."

"No lie, mate. My life is just not worth living if you're not in it." He brandished a bloody razor blade from behind him and showed it to Timon, who gaped in horror. "Would you like me to demonstrate?"

"No!" Timon choked out. As much as he felt dislike for this guy, he didn't want him to hurt himself. "Dear Walt, no!"

The Stu tossed his blade away and grinned, clasping his hands hopefully. "Does that mean you'll hear me out?"

Timon sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I guess."

"Okay, well to start, my name is Rico," he said dramatically. "And I have the power to summon the dark, deadly powers of the Greek god, Hades!"

Hades popped out of nowhere, inducing many a fan girl scream (don't lie; I know you would if he was real), and grinned. "Did somebody call me?"

Ignoring the god's cameo, Timon crossed his arms and looked at Rico skeptically, tapping his fingers against his arm in steady beats.

"Powers, huh?"

_Why do these Sues and Stus insist on having powers of some kind? Can't they just be normal for once, instead of being so cliché?_

Rico nodded, and gestured towards him. "And you! You, my dear Timon, are meant to be my lovely, loyal mate, always fighting by my side, because you can't live without me!"

Timon's eye twitched. _Lovely?!?! _He glared hard at Rico, his hands fisted on either side. _Seriously, what is with everyone feminizing me? Just because I'm gay, small, and occasionally cross-dress…_

He stopped that thought right there, blinked thoughtfully for a few minutes, and then sighed. _Okay, I get the point._

His glare returned, _But still!_

He was about to retort to Rico's comment, but was forced into shocked silence when he felt the Stu wrap an arm around his waist and pull him in. Rico stared into his eyes "lovingly" and stroked his shoulder, while Timon's eyes were wide with alarm.

"Now, let's mate, love," Rico said and puckered his lips.

Timon got his composure back and immediately started struggling. He put his hands on the Stu's chest and tried to pull out of his grip.

"Let go of me, you jerk!" he yelled out angrily.

Rico either didn't hear or he ignored him. His eyes stayed closed and he continued to push forward with puckered lips. Timon was neither amused, nor "enamored".

"I said, let me—"

Before he could complete the sentence, Timon found himself pulled back by a strong force and stood stunned.

Rico knew something was wrong when he realized his Chosen was out of his arms, so he opened his eyes…

And found himself looking up at a very, very mad warthog—who had a shocked Timon sheltered behind one of its frontal legs, presumably the one that pulled him away.

The Stu was so scared that he immediately changed his gender back into the Sue, who looked up at Pumbaa with as much fright and shock as the warthog's flared nostrils snorted furiously in her face.

Timon blinked a few times, looking from Pumbaa to Eimon, and then he finally smirked. He climbed up on his huge companion and looked down at the Sue from his usual spot, on top of Pumbaa's head.

At the same time, Eimon recovered also, albeit nervously, since Pumbaa didn't let up his glare.

"OMG, Pumbaa," she laughed nervously. "You have _no _idea how much I've wanted to meet you also—"

She broke off when one of Pumbaa's hoofs gripped her from the scruff of her neck, and lifted her to eye level.

"Leave Timon alone, and never come near him again—whether you're male or female," he growled with distaste.

Eimon gulped and shrank back from the glower.

"Oh, and sweetie," she looked up to find Timon smiling down at her. "You and your 'alter-ego' might as well get that 'mating' idea out of your head. In case you haven't realized, we weren't drawn with those…things," he gagged slightly. "In fact, no anthropomorphic animal in W.D. was. Ergo, intercourse with any of us, whether you're human or animal, is _impossible_."

Eimon gaped up at Timon in horror—as if _not _having "fun" with cartoon animals was disgusting—and heartbreak.

_How could he not love me? _Her eyes watered. _I've loved him my entire life! According to the stalker-fan-girl formula, he should return my love! And as for the no mate thing…I'm ruined! Oh, my life is so empty now—it's over!_

Timon smirked and waved at her. "Bye bye."

Taking that as a signal, Pumbaa threw the Sue down the long hallway. The two animals watched as they heard her screams fade out of hearing distance, and then Timon sighed with relief.

"Problem solved! Thank Walt."

Pumbaa rolled his eyes to look at Timon. "Are you sure we weren't too hard on her?"

Timon waved it off nonchalantly. "I already showed my disinterest in both of them. It's not my fault that they didn't take the hint. Besides, sometimes you have to be a little rough with these guys to give them a reality check."

"…I guess so." Pumbaa looked down at his hooves, feeling distraught and self-conscious all of a sudden.

Timon didn't have to see the sad look in his best friend's eyes to know that something was wrong. He stood up and slid down to the warthog's snout to look at him.

"What's wrong, buddy?" he asked gently.

Pumbaa's eyes watered a little. "Don't you get lonely without other meerkats around you? I mean, I just don't understand why you'd overlook them for," he shrugged his haunches pointedly, "this."

Timon smiled. "Pumbaa, Pumbaa, Pumbaa—please; I've been around meerkats _all my life_. I grew up in a colony, for Walt's sake. I've already seen whatever my kind has to offer, and frankly, I got really bored, really fast.

"You, on the other hand, make my life," he paused to think of the right word, "interesting."

Pumbaa brightened up at that. "Really?"

"Really, really." Timon climbed back up to rest on his head, and stroked the warthog's black mane. "Now, let's go get something to eat, pal."

Pumbaa felt a familiar warmth spread from his heart, to all over his body, and he grinned, feeling satisfied.

"Okay."

* * *

O.K. I know that the end part might annoy you, especially with Timon saying that sex between the animal Disney characters was impossible.

You might see that as unnecessary and stupid, but I felt I had to come up with that little "loophole", for my own personal reasons.

Part 4 is about two thirds done, but please be patient. The new semester just started, and though my schedule is more flexible than the fall, I still have a lot of work. Especially for sociology.


	12. Interlude 3: Valentine's Day

**God, I wanted this up by this morning, but I still had to finish it. **

**Warning: both het (basically all the standard pairings) and some non-kissing slash (*cough* Rabbit/Tigger *cough*) ahead, to please another request from the same reader from the previous chapter. **

**If you don't like, then please turn back. Let me repeat: ****You don't have to read this chapter. No one is forcing you to. So, please, don't complain. I want this to be a Happy Valentine's Day.**

**EDIT!: I changed up some things, in case some of you might notice. See, these flaws were bugging me earlier, and I decided to fix them. I hope no one really minds.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Disney, or its characters. I also don't own the song "All Over Me" by Danger Flowers.**

* * *

**~Interlude: Valentine's Day~**

Ariel stood on the rooftop of the school, looking out as the sun went down. Expressionless, she watched as the twilight made a beautiful mix of orange, reds, and blues. A cold wind blew her way, moving her hair languidly in the air, making it look like it was hovering around her head.

She closed her sea blue eyes and took a deep breath—

"_But Eric…we're not doing anything wrong."_

"_I'm sorry, Ariel…but we can't."_

"_Why though?"_

"_You know why."_

…

"_So, you're just… giving up?"_

"…_I'm sorry."_

—And let it out, feeling a dull pain erupt from her chest.

Her eyes stung, and Ariel had to bite her lower lip to ground herself from sobbing. She had to keep herself together. The time for crying like a helpless baby was over.

Ariel opened her eyes and glared ahead defiantly, determination making her watery eyes glint with reflected sunlight.

Now was the time for action.

She picked up the black case that contained her guitar, turned on her heel, and then proceeded to the annual Valentine's Day school dance.

* * *

Rabbit swallowed harshly as he wrung his hands.

"Okay, let's go through this again," he told himself softly. He glared forward and pointed shakily, "Now listen here, you. I like you, and you can't do a thing about it! So…just be my Valentine, and let's get on with our lives already!"

The pole he was addressing didn't reply.

The sandy bunny's ears slumped on either side of his head. Rabbit groaned softly and leaned back on the pole. He stared down at the gift box, which had been wrapped awkwardly in red and purple paper, in his hands and sighed.

"Confessing your love looks easier on T.V.," he said bitterly.

"No kidding," a voice said as the owner leaned on the wall adjacent to him.

Rabbit didn't even bother to look up; he knew who it was. "Tough time with Belle?" he asked wryly.

"Isn't it always?" Christopher Robin smiled softly. "As nice as she is, Belle is still too in love with that Beast to consider dating me."

Rabbit scowled at Chris, his eyes narrowed. He envied his friend for being so calm and happy, despite his unrequited crush.

"How do you do it, Christopher Robin?" He couldn't help but ask. "Doesn't it bother you?"

The boy stared at the bunny, his smile still in place. "Of course it does, Rabbit. But I figure that as long as she's happy, then I'm happy. Beside's I'm too young to hang onto just one girl, who will only consider me a friend. There's still enough time for me to find that special person."

Christopher Robin closed his eyes serenely as he added, "For now though, I will cherish what little Belle and I have, with no regrets on revealing my feelings."

Rabbit raised an eyebrow, looking skeptical. "Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"But what if the two of you hadn't stayed friends? What if Belle felt awkward around you, or didn't want to speak to you again?"

He shrugged. "That was the risk I had to take, Rabbit. Love, in any shape or form, is never as easy as fairy tales say. Feeling it is one thing; expressing one's love is a totally different level on its own. There are so many risks to a confession—rejection being the most prominent one.

"But that's okay, because life's about taking risks anyway. Living organisms aren't truly living unless they allow themselves to take a risk. Sometimes it's the only way we can achieve happiness. And if we get hurt, then we get hurt. But we'll always manage to heal, no matter how impossible it might feel to the individual. (It just takes some effort, that's all—but it is possible.) That's one of the many things that make humans, and humanoids, so special." Christopher concluded, "When we fall, we always find a way to pick ourselves up again."

Rabbit stared at his friend, blinking a few times. Then he lowered his gaze, his lip trembling.

"I'm not sure if I will be strong enough to take that risk Christopher Robin," he said softly. "There's just too much riding on this."

"Things will be fine. You'll see." Christopher gently pushed Rabbit forward. "Now, go. You're on."

At first, Rabbit didn't know what he meant. Then he heard the trademark song of a certain…

"The wonderful thing 'bout Tiggers is Tiggers are wonderful things! Their tops are made of rubba; their bottoms are made of the springs…"

Rabbit yelped, panicked, and crouched down on all fours. The box in his hand dropped on the floor beside him, and he grabbed it to hold it close to him. He looked over the pole, seeing a familiar stuffed tiger bouncing down the hall. He stood up shakily, still eyeing Tigger. He cast a nervous glance at Christopher Robin, who gave him a thumbs up, and then he looked back at Tigger.

With a sudden adrenaline rush, Rabbit's face burned with determination. It was now or never; the end of the road; do or die.

…Ugh, why did that last euphemism have to have the word "die" in it?

He walked forward, the gift behind his back.

"Tigger!"

Tigger stopped his bouncing and looked behind him, and he smiled wide and bright.

"Long Ears! How ya doin'?" He quickly noticed his Ra-Ra fidgeting and was immediately concerned. "Ya okay?"

It was as if Rabbit's mouth had been stuffed with cotton. "Um—Tigger—uh, you see…"

He was quickly losing his nerve under Tigger's intent stare. He wondered if it was too late to turn back and just run. It would be so easy, it wouldn't be even funny. All he had to do was turn around and just go to his room, or perhaps the library, where he always felt safe. Yeah, that's right; all he had to do was just turn on his heel and…

"Oh, for the love of Walt, just _kiss _him already!"

Rabbit and Tigger snapped their heads up to see an amused Peter Pan smirking at them across the hallway.

"No, seriously, the suspense is killing us," he continued, chuckling. "Just confess your stupid undying love for each other, and let's all get on with this stupid one-shot."

Tigger just blinked at the boy blankly, not really sure what to say, or how to react. Rabbit, on the other hand, was glowing red with anger and embarrassment, looking close to throttling Pan with his bare hands.

"J-just mind your own business!"

Pete smirked wider and opened his mouth to retort, when a hand shot out and covered his mouth. Another arm came around and wrapped around his shoulders, holding him so to prevent any struggle.

"So sorry," Arthur said to Rabbit, smiling nervously. He nodded toward the boy whose mouth he was covering, and who was currently glaring at him. Arthur regarded him with a stern look, "Sometimes this one just doesn't know when to _shut the bloody hell up_ when necessary."

Peter looked like he was about to struggle out of the scrawny boy's grip, but he paused when he saw Mowgli and Pinocchio pop on either side, both smiling mischievously.

"It's a disease, really it is," Pinocchio commented.

"We'll get him out of your way now, so the sickness doesn't spread," Mowgli grinned.

Peter glared at both of them, letting out a muffled, "Hey!"

His friends smirked playfully at him. (Who needs enemies when you've got friends like these?)

"Come on, you," Arthur dragged Pete away, ignoring his struggles. "We've got a dance to get to."

Laughing amusedly at Peter's muffled "I hate you all", Pinocchio followed Arthur. Mowgli was going to follow, but he paused to look over at Rabbit with blank brown eyes.

Then, with a sly wink, he mouthed, "Good luck," and left to catch up with his friends.

Rabbit blushed and turned away. He couldn't help but feel that everything had been ruined…

"…Isa that present for me?"

He gasped and looked down at the box in his hands. In the fray, he had ended up revealing the box. And, unfortunately (depending on who you are), Tigger just so happened to see the part of the gift that had his name on it. Before Rabbit could snatch it back behind his back, Tigger grabbed it and started opening it, ripping away at the paper and pulling apart the bow. He lifted the lid of the box and pulled the object out.

Tigger tilted his head bemusedly. "A ball?"

Rabbit gulped, suddenly feeling self-conscious. "I-it bounces. Just like you. I-I th-thought you might like having something that bounces as high as you, since a lot of us can barely keep up sometimes."

"But, Bunny Boy…I thought you hated it when I bounced."

"Hate is such a strong word. I dislike it certainly," he explained. "But it makes you happy. A-and I want you to be happy, so…"

Rabbit trailed off, getting nervous again. Tigger had gone eerily quiet. His face was blank, expressionless, inducing fear in Rabbit. But, instead of running, the bunny waited patiently.

"…Rabbit?"

"Yes Tigger?"

Surprisingly (to Rabbit anyway) Tigger happily bounced and tackled his Long Ears to the floor. And, though he grunted at the weight on him, Rabbit didn't mind, as long as Tigger kept hugging him like a child at Christmas.

Tigger beamed as he cuddled his bunny. This was officially the best Valentine's Day ever.

* * *

Mowgli leaned back against the gym wall and sighed.

"Ah, Valentine's Day."

"The day of romance and friendship."

"And chocolate, don't forget chocolate."

Pinocchio looked at Peter. "You only came to this dance for the sugar, didn't you?"

The redhead grinned. "Of course. I mean, do you see all the cakes and cookies?"

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Great, just what I need. Another night of nothing but a hyper Peter Pan."

"Please, you know you love it."

With a small, almost unseen smile, the blonde snorted in response.

From across the room, Alice saw them and walked over to them, dragging along a blushing Shanti.

"Are we late?"

Pinocchio smiled at her. "Actually, you're just in time. The party's barely started." He blinked as he noticed her dress, which was a deep blue with a Gothic Lolita style. "Wow, Alice, you look great."

He automatically blushed, unsure if he should have said his thoughts out loud.

Alice looked like she didn't notice (even though she really did), and giggled. "Oh, this old thing? Just something I found in my closet."

Peter couldn't help but discreetly cough, "Bullshit."

But when Alice cut him an icy glare, he found it was probably safe to just focus on his precious chocolate.

Mowgli noticed Shanti hiding behind Alice, her face bright red, and he smiled.

"Hey Shanti," he greeted.

Shanti squeaked timidly, and immediately dropped down to the floor, crawling underneath the closest table. Mowgli stared after her with an adorable, stunned look on his face, similar to how everyone else looked.

"What…just happened?"

Peter rolled his eyes. "I'll go get her, don't worry."

True to his word, he crouched down and crawled under the table after her. He quickly saw her sitting down with her knees to her chest, wrinkling the beautiful purple and red dress Alice had made her wear. He crawled next to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"What's up?" he asked softly.

Shanti didn't answer for a few moments. "…This is the first time I've worn a dress."

Peter smiled gently. "Is that all?"

"Mowgli's never seen me in a dress before," she said. "What if I don't look good?"

"Shanti, you look great. Mowgli would be an idiot not to see that."

The dark skinned girl whimpered softly, nervously toying with her hair, now out in waves, instead of the usual braid.

"Okay, am I going to have to put on the flamer voice to make you feel better?" Peter threatened playfully.

Shanti quirked an eyebrow, looking curious.

"Hun, you look absolutely fab-you-_luss_. That man o' yours don't know what he's missing."

She giggled. "I don't think you should ever do that again."

"I agree. If you tell anyone I did the 'limp wrist' movement, I'll kill you," he said in a mock threatening voice.

Shanti laughed softly at that, feeling lighter about her troubles.

"So…ready to give it another try?"

She thought for a few moments, and then she sighed. "I guess so."

Peter smiled and gestured towards outside. "Ladies first."

When Mowgli saw Shanti crawl out from under the table (followed by Peter, but he barely noticed) and stand up, he could feel his jaw fall to the floor.

Her hair, out and wavy, framed her sheepish face (which had some light make-up on), going down to her mid-back. Her dress was a purple dress that went down to a few inches above her knee and glittered under the room's dim lights that reflected from the disco ball. It had red spaghetti straps and a red bow that was knotted behind her back, with the ends going down the length of the gown. It wasn't too fancy, like for a ball or anything, but it was enough to make her glow (in Mowgli's perspective, at least).

Shanti swallowed, under his stare. "Is it too much?" She glared over at Alice, "See, I told you—"

"You look beautiful."

She blinked. "What'd you say?"

Mowgli shook himself out of his reverie and grinned, regaining his composure. "I said, you look beautiful," he repeated.

"Oh." Shanti smiled shyly, twirling a dark curl around her finger. "You look great too," she complimented him.

"I hope so," he smiled playfully. "I didn't exactly get dressed up," he gestured to his jeans and formal shirt.

"Doesn't matter; you look great anyway," Shanti said, feeling more confident.

As the two stared at each other, both lost in their thoughts, Alice couldn't help but let out a soft, "Aw."

Pinocchio just shook his head wryly, and glared at Pete playfully. "Peter, what did you do? Now, they're ignoring us residents in the real world."

The redhead smiled and shrugged. "I just did the whole stereotypical 'gay best friend' thing. The rest was all her."

Arthur smirked. "It could have been worse."

"How do you figure?"

"You could have given her advice on sex."

Peter thought for a moment, "Nah, I don't wanna corrupt her any more than she already is."

Alice smirked at him. "Oh, yes, because corruption of the innocent is _so_ bad."

He smirked back at her. "But of course."

As the two of them chuckled, a blonde teenage girl walked up to the group with a smile. She wore a short pink dress that had ruffles on the skirt and matching high heels that clacked on the dance floor. Alice quickly noticed her and tensed.

"Hey Aurora," she said through a strained smile.

"Alice, hi," Aurora replied with a smile.

_**Oh, boy**_, was everyone's thoughts, including Mowgli and Shanti's (once they were brought back to Earth).

Alice and Aurora had a bit of a rivalry. It wasn't one born out of hatred or anything—it was just friendly competition. Well, at least from Aurora's perspective it was; despite looking like the stereotypical "cheerleader bitch" she didn't bear any hostility towards Alice, or anyone else for that matter. Alice, on the other hand, felt a little insecure and competitive around the other blonde. She felt jealous of her beautiful Audrey Hepburn looks, and the fact that she was taller and looked more mature.

"How do you guys like the party?" Aurora smiled at them.

"Awesome, as per usual," Pete winked.

"You and the school 'Princesses' always know how to throw a good dance," Pinocchio added good naturedly.

Alice couldn't help but secretly pout at that. She crossed her arms and turned her head away.

"It's okay," she said softly.

With her eyes twinkling knowingly, Aurora nodded. "Glad you all think so."

Suddenly, a princely looking teenage boy walked up to her and bowed, holding out his hand. "May I have this dance, my lady?"

She giggled and took his hand, "Of course, Phillip."

As she left to go to the dance floor, where the great Three Caballeros were playing their signature mariachi songs, Aurora couldn't help but wink slyly at Alice—which just caused the other girl's eye to twitch with irritation.

"Wow, Aurora's looking dazzling as always," Shanti complimented.

Alice shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. "She looks good, I'll give her that."

Arthur's eyes widened, looking impressed. "Whoa, look at how she dances."

Out of impulse, Alice watched as Aurora and Phillip danced. In fact, everyone watched as the two of them moved in a way that made them look like they were made for each other. Neither of them made any mistake as Aurora was twirled and held close to her partner.

_Wow, she really can dance_, she couldn't help but think. _How am I supposed to compete with that?_

"Alice, aren't you going to dance?" Shanti asked, curiously. "You've been talking about it all day."

Alice smiled nervously, playing with her hair. "Well, I—you see…"

She inadvertently locked eyes with Aurora—who smirked at her teasingly.

Alice felt her eye twitch as she scowled. As she gritted her teeth, her whole body started to seethe. All her friends watched her with wide, wary eyes. They all knew how dangerous the girl could get when she was angry.

"Uh, Alice, are you okay?" Pinocchio asked with concern.

Before he knew it, his hand was grabbed and Alice was pulling him towards the dance floor.

"Oh, I'll show her." She tugged him harder, "Come on, Pinocchio."

"Wait a minute, Alice! I-I don't know how to dance."

"That's just fine, I'll teach you."

Their friends watched them, all blinking in comical bemusement.

"In the words of Han Solo," Arthur spoke up. "I've got a bad feeling about this."

They all nodded in agreement.

Meanwhile, on the dance floor, Alice and Pinocchio's hands were laced together as they awkwardly stood in front of each other.

"Okay, now just take a step to my left," she instructed. "One…two…"

Pinocchio obeyed, but couldn't help but notice that their dancing was like uncomfortable stomping compared to the other dancers.

"We look ridiculous," he said as they moved. "I thought you said you knew how to dance."

"Give me a break! I haven't danced since I was a little girl." Alice retorted as they danced in a crude circle. "Okay, now just take a step forward."

"Like this?"

_STOMP!_

Pinocchio accidentally stepped on her foot, causing Alice to cry out in pain, "AH!"

The shorter boy was immediately worried and apologetic. "I'm sorry, Alice, are you…?"

_STOMP! _A vindictive Alice stepped on his foot in rebuke.

"GAH! Damn it!"

The two dance partners stopped and stood still on the dance floor, their heads low enough so that their facial expressions weren't really seen. Many of the other dancers paused in their movement to stare at them. Their friends just watched them, looking like some cross between amused, and slightly frightened.

Well, except for Peter Pan; he was the only one who was laughing his ass off about the whole thing.

Arthur swallowed. "Okay, now I _really_ have a bad feeling about this."

Mowgli couldn't help but smirk amusedly. "You think?"

Finally, in a snap, Alice and Pinocchio glared at each other with glowing eyes, and they practically started a foot-stomping war. They stomped their feet in random places, both missing each other's foot, but not giving up. They just grunted and cursed as they continued their work.

Strangely enough, their rough movement caused them to move around on the dance floor, in a sort of mock of a dance. The Three Caballeros quickly noticed this and shrugged to each other, deciding to let their music go on. Everyone else on the dance floor decided to stop, out of fear of getting run over, and just watch with amusement and, for some, with shock.

"Uh, shouldn't we do something?" Shanti asked, her eyes wide.

"And risk getting caught in the crossfire? No way," Peter breathed out, wiping a tear from his eye, and then he pointed at them. "Besides, I think they're getting things under at least a little control."

They turned back to watch their two friends again, at first only seeing the two stomp faster, but then they noticed a change:

Alice almost lost her footing, but Pinocchio pulled her back, causing her to spin on her toes. Then she pulled back to Pinocchio and continued their "dancing", both of them now smiling. Both of them laughing now, Pinocchio spun Alice around again, to which the blonde girl happily returned the favor.

Their friends couldn't help but smile as they watched the two of them continue the unorthodox dance with glowing smiles on their faces.

* * *

"Okay, it's almost time. Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be, Jazz."

Belle looked over at her friend. "Ariel, you know you don't have to do this right? You just might get hurt more."

"…I know." Ariel looked at Belle, her eyes burning with determination. "But he's worth this."

Belle and Jasmine exchanged a concerned look, and then they looked back at Ariel.

"If you say so," Jasmine shrugged.

With the discussion done, the three girls went to their places on stage and got ready.

* * *

Eric sipped his punch with a sigh as he watched all the students, and some faculty members get up and dance to the music. He would have been in the mood for the annual Valentine's Day celebration, but…

"What's wrong, Eric?" his "date" asked him as she put her hand on his arm.

He forced a smile. "Nothing Vanessa. Just thinking."

The dark haired woman pouted. "Well, stop thinking and dance with me. Please?" She batted her eyelashes flirtatiously.

Eric hesitated, but then sighed. "Sure."

With his fate sealed, Vanessa smirked and pulled him to the dance floor, where a slow song was playing. He put his hands on her hips and held her close as they moved, as he was supposed to with a woman close to his age.

(_Damn it_, he scolded himself. _Why does it always go back to that subject?_)

Vanessa sighed and cuddled into his chest, smiling dreamily. Eric, however, couldn't help but allow his thoughts to wander. It wasn't that he didn't like Vanessa as a person; she was nice enough when she didn't feel like being a manipulative bitch. She could sometimes be a good friend.

It was just that…in his mind's eye, he wasn't dancing with Vanessa.

Instead of black hair he was touching, it was a fire engine red color he was running his fingers through. Instead of brown eyes, he was looking into two pools of blue that twinkled with love for him, and only him.

And, instead of being twenty-two, a year older than him, she was sixteen going on seventeen—practically five years his junior.

If he could, Eric could kick himself. He knew it was wrong to think about _her_, especially when in the arms of someone else—but he couldn't help it. He couldn't help but feel what he felt.

_It'll go away_, he swore to himself. _It will…it just has to…_

Before he realized it, the slow song was over, and all the dancers separated briefly to clap politely for the band that played on the stage.

Clopin then went on the stage, smiling at all the dancers. "Well, I certainly hope you all loved that, for we have another slow dance coming right up. So, gather around all you lovebirds, and possibly some friends, and let's hear it for the lovely girls who call themselves, 'Le Renaissance'!"

This made Eric pause. Wasn't that the name of…?

Before he could finish the thought, the curtains opened, revealing the band. Eric had to hold back a gasp at what he saw.

Ariel wore a glittering purple tank top that shimmered under the lights, a pair of jeans that had a green scarf looped around them like a belt, a pair of sneakers, and the necklace he had given to her the previous Christmas. Her eyes were accentuated by the light blue eye shadow, as well as the mascara that gave her lashes more volume. Her hair was out, as usual, but had a shell-shaped clip near her bangs.

She stood in front of the microphone, with Jasmine and Belle on either side of her, and she held a guitar in her hand. The one he had taught her how to play, Eric recalled painfully. Her two friends also had instruments. Jasmine was on the portable piano and Belle was also holding an acoustic guitar.

Ariel looked over at all the waiting listeners, and briefly locked eyes with Eric.

There were so many words expressed in those eyes—a message only Eric could understand, much to his dismay.

Yet, as much as he knew it wasn't right, he didn't look away.

Strumming her guitar, she took a deep breath, and let out the song she'd been singing in her heart, ever since the two of them met:

_"In the space between what's wrong and right,  
You will find me waiting for you.  
All your fortresses go down in the night.  
To the dawn I'll see you through."_

All the couples that had been previously dancing started back on their pace again.

All except for Eric and Vanessa.

_"'Cause I know, that you know,  
You're all over me now.  
And it's clear, it will show,  
Your curtains will close."_

Eric's eyes grew sad as he felt his chest contract with longing—a desire he knew that he _shouldn't _feel, according to society, anyway. There were too many risks involved if it was pursued. Either Ariel (the poor girl wasn't ready, in his mind, and he didn't want to take advantage of her) or he could get hurt over this, as well as the people close to them; his job would be threatened; and then there were the legal issues of the whole thing…

And yet, as he saw Ariel give him a soft smile, Eric found that he didn't care about those things.

And that scared him more than anything.

_"But if your heart is cold, my sheets are warm.  
I will shelter you through the storm.  
I will shelter you all through the storm."_

Vanessa saw how entranced Eric was, and she couldn't help but scowl bitterly. She wanted to smack him out of his trance, to make him notice her, but she wanted to retain her dignity.

And so, with a shaky sigh, she walked away, her heart feeling heavy.

As he leaned against the wall of the gym, Arthur couldn't help but feel sympathy for the woman.

Though this holiday was great for some, Valentine's Day often left some broken hearts in its wake.

He turned his head to say something to Peter, but his eyes widened when he realized his friend wasn't there. He glanced around the room and saw one of the exits to the outside swing closed.

He immediately walked off and followed. As he went outside, Ariel's strong voice continued to be heard, even if it was a little muffled:

_"The answers aren't so easy to find,  
The questions will have to do._

_"'Cause I've lost myself deep in your life,_

_My only fix is you."_

Call Peter Pan a cynic, but he wasn't really fond of Valentine's Day. Sure, it looked like a great holiday for lovers, but you needed someone with whom you shared a mutual affection in order to enjoy it.

The emphasis here being "mutual".

Without that factor though, it was just another commercial holiday in which many suffered in their lonesome. (Not that he would ever admit out loud that he felt lonely sometimes, the stubborn ass that he was.)

So, imagine Pete's surprise when, as he was taking a drag from a cigarette outside of the school, when he saw Arthur join him against the outside wall of the gym. The Brit nodded towards the sky.

"It's probably going to rain soon."

"…I know," Peter replied.

Pause.

"Smoking kills."

Pete blinked, and then he smirked, as he took out his cancer stick and blew smoke into the air, making sure not to hit Arthur's face. He knew how much the other boy hated that.

"I'm seventeen, Artie. I have plenty of time to worry about my lungs."

Arthur stared at him for a few moments, and then he sighed resolutely and stretched out his hand.

"Pass me a fag," he said.

"Nice choice of words."

He rolled his eyes, a ghost of a smile on his lips. "…I meant the cigarette, you wise arse."

Peter smiled as he passed one to him. "I know."

Meanwhile, inside the gym, Eric continued to watch as Ariel sung in that beautiful voice of hers. It practically hurt to hear her.

In fact, it _did_ hurt. It hurt so much…

* * *

_"Hello, my name is Eric Benson," he had introduced himself about a year before, "and I'll be Mr. Sebastian's assistant music teacher from now on."_

_Sebastian, a small red crab with a powerful Carribean voice, warily nodded at Eric and began his lesson._

_A lot of girls had sighed and swooned the moment they saw him, unsurprisingly to Eric. With no excessive pride, he easily admitted that he was attractive for many._

_There had been one girl, though—one girl who hadn't payed any mind to him, initially. She was one certain redhead, who seemed to be more interested in looking out the window rather than singing with the rest of the class. It wasn't that she hated the class; she just tended to get stuck in her own little world every once in a while. Usually, a trait such as that annoyed Eric—and yet, throughout the whole lesson, he found that couldn't keep his eyes off her._

_Sebastian eventually took notice of the daydreamer, and he jumped up and down in anger._

_"Ariel!"_

_Ariel snapped out of her fantasy and blinked at Sebastian, who was still steaming. _

_"Do you plan on joining us any time soon?"_

_Realizing her mistake, she smiled sheepishly. _

_"Sorry, Sebastian," she spoke softly, yet her voice came out so clear in Eric's ears. _

_As the lesson went on, with Eric's help, Ariel finally noticed him, and their eyes locked onto each other._

_And that was when the fuse to the bomb was lit._

* * *

_"Saying what I am, what we are,  
It's a start towards the truth__.  
Taking my breath with each day,  
All I can stand in my heart it's you."_

She took a deep breath and looked back at her audience with shining eyes:

_"In the space between what's wrong and right,  
You will find me waiting for you…"_

Once she was done, Ariel and her band were greeted with applause from her classmates and teachers. All three girls bowed their heads gratefully, but Ariel wasn't really paying attention to all the praise directed at them.

All she noticed was Eric walking out of the gym.

She glanced at her two best friends, who both greeted her with supporting nods, and then she put down her guitar and followed Eric's path.

Outside it was starting to rain steadily down, washing away any remnants of snow from last week's snow day, but Ariel didn't care. She allowed the water to pelt her as she searched the campus grounds for Eric.

She eventually found him in W.D. Academy's garden, standing under the apple tree that they both loved to sit under. The leaves weren't enough to cover him from the rain, but Eric didn't seem to care either. When he noticed her approach and stand next to him, he stared at her, looking like a cross between angry and hurt.

"Why did you have to do that?" he asked, an edge in his soft voice.

Ariel swallowed and stared back at him with a solid expression. "Because I don't want to give up what we have."

They both stared at each other for a few beats, listening to the rain become a storm where lightning and thunder made a mess in the sky. Neither of them took any notice of it, though.

"…We can both get in serious trouble over this."

"I know…"

"If anyone finds out, no one with authority will allow us to be together."

Ariel's eyes watered, "The headmaster wouldn't care."

"Mickey can't control the laws, or the police," Eric replied. "Not to mention how your father and the rest of your family will react…"

"I don't care about that!" She screamed as she stepped closer to him, almost a breath away. "I don't care about any of it. I've spent my entire life being the doting, obedient daughter among many. For once, I just want to do what makes me happy! That can't be wrong, can it? I want to be with you, Eric. And I know you want to be with me too."

Eric turned away, trying not to allow her to see the inner conflict that waged in his eyes. (Un)fortunately, Ariel reached upward to cup his face and turn it back to look down at her.

Then, as she fisted her hands on his shirt, she leaned upward and brushed her lips against his.

His eyes widened as he was kissed softly, tenderly, lovingly. He put his hands on her shoulders to push her away, but he found he couldn't get his body to do it. Instead—as one hand went to the small of her back, and the other cupped the back of her neck, tangling itself in her hair—he just pulled her body closer to him and slowly closed his eyes.

And, as they expressed all that needed to be said under the apple tree, the thunder continued to roll.

* * *

Okay, two requests done in one chapter! I hope I did them right.

Now I just have to feature the Mad Hatter in the next installment of "The Invasion" for another reader (who's probably stopped reading this by now, but whatever).

End Note: What can I say? I have a thing for forbidden relationships, one of the most prominent being one between a student and a teacher.

And since I love _The Little Mermaid_, I decided to make Eric and Ariel the "secret love affair" that I mentioned in the first chapter. (That being said: Does anyone know the symbolism of the apple tree they kiss under? *wink, wink* -nudge, nudge-)

By the way, in case you don't know, the song in this story is from the movie _Loving Annabelle_, which is a film about the love affair between a teacher and her student. Granted, the movie's about a lesbian couple, but the basis is the same. I'd recommend watching it, but I'm not sure if anyone here is comfortable enough with the concept of two females kissing. (I didn't think I would like it either, but it took me by surprise.) But try listening to the song, at least. It's really good.

And, to any fans of the anime Chrno Crusade, _yes_: I did have Pinocchio and Alice do that dance from episode 18 (I think that's the episode). I thought it would be funny and cute, though it probably doesn't compare to the original source.

To those who don't know what I'm talking about: You should probably look up "Chrno Crusade Dance" on YouTube. One of the best scenes in an anime that is both funny and heartwrenching.

So, I know it's late, but: **Happy Valentine's Day! :3**


	13. The Invasion Part 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Disney characters, and I don't have a desire to ever own them. **

**I mean, can you imagine the huge mob that would come after me if this ever happened?**

**Yeah, I don't wanna think about it either.**

**Now that we're on the subject though, here's another disclaimer:**

**I don't own anything from **_**Little Shop of Horrors**_**, be it their characters or their songs, or both—they all are owned by their respective owners. The guest star in this fic is involved purely for fun and entertainment, not financial profit.**

**To Readers: You'll find out later ;)**

* * *

**~The Invasion: Part 4~**

Ever since he had been a young boy, Pinocchio had been deathly afraid of water. No, it was more than just _fear_; what he felt was hatred—a hatred so strong that if his hydrophobia and his concern for the rest of the world didn't hold him back, he would have disintegrated the horrid liquid years ago, if he could help it.

Pinocchio was never sure why he hated water. His adopted father had said that it was due to him nearly drowning as a child, on the day Geppetto found him. Apparently, the experience had been so traumatizing that he was in shock for a good few days before he started talking. Perhaps the trauma of his near drowning was the very reason Pinocchio didn't recall his past prior to Geppetto finding him…

Who knows? Whatever it was, Pinoke couldn't remember and, to be quite frank, he was certain that he didn't _want _to remember. Something deep down inside him told him he wouldn't like the memory.

So, when he felt the trunk being pulled up, you can imagine the elation that Pinocchio felt. It didn't cross his mind that the person pulling him up would be more foe than friend, but even if the thought did pass, he wouldn't care. That's how desperate he was to get out of the water.

Soon Pinocchio looked out the porthole and found that the trunk had managed to get to the surface, at least a few feet above the water. He saw a sky covered with the leaves of what looked like a million trees

"Damn it," he cursed under his breath, glaring at the trunk's ceiling. "Whoever you are, just pull me up already!"

As if to answer his prayers, Pinocchio felt the trunk jerk upwards and land on somewhere hard. After a few minutes of silence, he heard the faint clicking of a lock and the creak of wood as the lid was lifted up. He winced slightly when his eyes were flooded with sunlight, but it didn't last, because someone quickly blocked the sun by looking in.

Pinocchio focused his gaze on the person to find that it was a girl…

His eyes widened.

A girl who was practically a carbon copy of Alice, only her hair was orange-red, and her Lolita dress was black, with a white apron on it. Her skin was as smooth and pale as porcelain, and her sky blue eyes were shaped like almonds. She was the picture of perfection…

She grinned. "Hello, love! I've come to rescue you, don't worry."

Pinocchio swallowed, his face paling fearfully.

Maybe staying in the trunk wouldn't have been so bad after all.

* * *

Mowgli crouched down to the ground, feeling it with his hands. His eyes narrowed as he shifted his gaze from the ground to ahead of him.

"One of them was here not too long ago."

Alice looked at him. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because there's glitter around their footsteps," he smiled wryly.

"Ah, of course."

He stood up and put his hands in his pockets. "Well, I guess there's really nothing we can do, except walk around and hope to find an exit."

Alice glanced around the jungle. "That sounds a little difficult, especially since it's so dark."

"Don't worry about it. Like I said, I'll find a way out in no time." Mowgli's eyes widened as he looked around. "Where's Shanti?"

Alice looked behind her, her eyes growing worried. "I'm not sure—she was right behind me just a few minutes ago."

Before she finished the sentence, Mowgli walked past her and started calling out for Shanti.

Alice was about to join him, but then something wrapped around her ankle and pulled her up high above Mowgli's head. She was about to scream for her friend to help her, but a huge vine wrapped itself around her mouth to stifle any sounds. When she tried to struggle, the vines wrapped themselves around all her limbs, keeping her in place. She tried to struggle some more anyway, but the vines were just too much; eventually, Alice just stopped trying.

_Damn it, how did this end up in a damsel in distress situation?_

When she glanced around, Alice found Shanti in the same situation hanging right next to her.

"Hey," Shanti muffled, bored.

"Hey," Alice replied, also bored.

Meanwhile Mowgli heard a slight shift from the ground and turned around to see that Alice was gone.

He scowled. "Okay, what the hell?"

"Mowgli, like OMG, it's you!"

He turned around to see a girl standing on a tree branch, holding a vine in her hands. She had perfect skin that glistened in the moonlight, ebony hair that went down to her waist, and she was wearing a tube top and skirt made up of leaves and furs.

She beamed down at him. "I'm here to be your true jungle queen, love of my life!"

Mowgli's eye twitched as he got out his trench knives out from his pockets.

_Dear sweet Walt, why _me_?_

* * *

"Honestly, though, who would _know_ something like that?"

"Someone who actually _reads_ and looks it up, that's who!"

"And what type of person would do that? A _nerd_."

Face flushed with anger, Arthur glared at the wall separating them. "You are so…so…so—damn it, I can't come up with a proper word to describe you!"

"But of course." Peter smirked arrogantly at the wall, as if he actually saw the other boy. "Mere words don't do me justice."

Arthur groaned and shook his head, muttering under his breath, "Unbelievable arse…"

Peter chuckled amusedly, and then paused when he heard some faint shuffling outside his cell. His eyes narrowed as he leaned forward to make out the sounds. They sounded like…girls—giggling girls.

And they sounded close.

His eyes widened slightly.

Meanwhile, Arthur was shaking his head exasperatedly. "You never take anything seriously Pete—"

"Arthur."

"—and it will get you killed one day, I hope you realize that—"

"_Arthur_."

"You know, honestly I don't know why I put up with you Peter Pan! It's like all you make it your very purpose in life to drive me insane, and I—"

"_Damn it, Arthur shut up!" _Peter hissed out finally.

Arthur was about to retort, but he shut his mouth up when he heard people enter his companion's room. With his anger now replaced with worry, he started to think of a way for the two of them to escape.

"Cripes, if I had a pin or something I could probably unlock these." He glared up at his chains.

He closed his eyes and sighed. "Where are Merlin and Archimedes when you need them? They could probably use their magic to get me and Pete out of here."

No sooner after he said that, he heard some scratching sound come from above. He opened his eyes and looked at the ceiling, squinting his eyes a bit in the dark. Though he couldn't see, Arthur could hear the plaster of the ceiling crack harshly as it was torn apart. He also heard the sound of tiny feet land on the prison floor, and the distinct sound of mutters and high pitched clicks.

The small intruder turned around to show a pair of big glowing green eyes that revealed some of its figure.

Its wide grin practically glowed in the dark prison as it waved. "Hi."

"Um, hi." Arthur blinked at it, recognizing it almost immediately. He arched an eyebrow. "Honestly, you aren't exactly who I had in mind…"

In a matter of seconds that included the sounds of claws clashing against metal, Arthur found that his hands were no longer bound. As he rubbed his wrists soothingly, Arthur felt something hard and metal poke him. Once he felt it, he realized it was the bat that Minnie had given him before.

He smiled gratefully at the creature and took the weapon from it.

"But I suppose you'll do."

Stitch's grin widened as he did his signature cackle, and he started getting to climb up the walls to get to the vent that connected to the other prison.

* * *

As he reluctantly followed the Alice lookalike, who had addressed herself as Alicia, Pinocchio took the time to observe the forest he was walking in. It looked normal at first glance, but as the walk went on, Pinocchio started to realize some odd…things.

Like the singing flowers that smiled robotically at him.

The White Rabbit running around, screaming manically about how "late" he was (for what, not even the authoress knows).

And, of course, there was the giant blue caterpillar that was spewing out philosophical babble as he got stoned on some intoxicating smell from a certain plant.

Pinocchio resisted the urge to smell the unfamiliar odor (out of curiosity, of course…) and decided to just continue following the girl.

The walk went on for a few more minutes until Alicia led him to a long table with three beings sitting at the table. Pinocchio took the time to observe them. There was a hare, and a small mouse on the table, both smiling dazedly as they swayed back and forth in an unnerving manner. Then there was the small man wearing a green top hat…

"Hatter!"

When Pinocchio ran to his side, the Mad Hatter turned his head and greeted the boy with a polite, yet seemingly forced, smile.

"Hello, Pinocchio."

That froze him in his tracks.

Nonplussed, Pinocchio stared at the only familiar face in this odd place. The Mad Hatter was Alice's guardian. He was usually inane, but also competent as the girl's surrogate father and protector. He was always smiling and singing about "un-birthdays" while chugging down cups of tea as if it were beer.

The Mad Hatter in front of Pinocchio did neither of those things. Instead, he was unnaturally calm.

The Hatter looked at him. "What's wrong my boy?"

Pinocchio swallowed. "Um, nothing Hatter. I'm just wondering if I'm in the Twilight Zone, or something."

"Oh, no," the Hatter chuckled. "You're in Wonderland, silly child."

_Hm, Wonderland—the place where he and Alice come from_, Pinocchio mused. _That certainly explains a few things._

_Except for…_

"What did you do to him?" Pinocchio turned to look at Alicia.

She blinked at him with an innocent smile. "I only tweaked his personality a bit."

"A bit," he quirked an eyebrow, looking skeptical.

She nodded.

"…May I ask _why_?"

"Oh, because he was too hyper and insane to pay attention to me, of course."

Pinocchio blinked. "What?"

Alicia stood up on the table and walked over to him, bending down so she could look down at him.

"This way," she grinned. "When you two fight over me, the Mad Hatter will be able to think logically about the strategy he needs to win my heart."

Cue awkward silence and staring.

"…"

"…"

"…If you'll excuse me, I need to get some air. Being stuck in a trunk for Walt knows how long can _really_ mess with your head."

With that said Pinocchio slowly turned away and walked away.

Alicia blinked after him, and then she smiled.

"Okay, well hurry back potential lover! Wouldn't want you to miss the big smash down over _moi_!" She waved spastically.

The boy didn't bother with the courtesy of waving back; he just quickened his pace all the more until he went deeper and deeper into the forest.

"I've got to get out of here," he said to himself. "But how?"

"I'm not sure, but I don't think talking to yourself is going to help."

Pinocchio's heart jumped into his throat. He looked around the dark forest warily. "W-who's there?"

"Now that's just improper grammar," the smooth voice chuckled.

A wide, toothy grin appeared a few feet above a tree branch. "You should have asked: 'What's there'."

Pinocchio watched as a purple striped cat appeared, sitting on the tree branch. It looked back at him with knowing, laughing yellow eyes.

"You're a cat," he stated.

"A Cheshire Cat," the cat corrected.

Pinocchio looked bemused. "I don't think I've heard of that species of cats."

"Well, of course not. It is most likely that I am the only one of my kind." The Cheshire propped its paw to rest its chin on it. "Which suits me just fine, really."

"Um, _okay_…You're not with that Alicia chick, are you?"

For a brief moment, Cheshire's grin was gone and was replaced by an enraged snarl. Pinocchio shrunk back as it glared down at him with burning eyes.

"Never in my life would I be associated with a slave driving witch such as her," it hissed hatefully.

Pinocchio recalled how Hatter, the hare, and the mouse looked. "She tried to mess you up too, didn't she?"

Cheshire nodded, its eyes narrowing. "She's trying to make herself the 'Alice' of Wonderland, by creating a carbon copy of our home (i.e. here), and warping the personalities of the original Wonderland's inhabitants."

"Why would she do that?"

"Because she wants everyone to love her—so, she tries to change everyone's personalities to hate the Alice we all know and love, and accept her as the new 'Alice'."

"And the whole 'fight over her' thing?"

"The enemy is very egotistical." Cheshire's grin returned, looking all the more malicious. "She believes that given enough time, she will be on the receiving end of every love interest fandoms pair Alice with. Those usually include the Mad Hatter, and me, but it's not enough for her. She wants _everyone_ who is paired with Alice, even the odd, 'crack' ones—which now includes you."

Though he honestly didn't know what he was talking about, Pinocchio pinched the bridge of his nose. He could already feel a migraine coming along.

"Great," he sighed. Then he looked at the Cat. "How do I fix things?"

Cheshire blinked. "You're actually going to help us?"

"I have to. I won't be able to live with myself if I don't help." Pinocchio added tentatively, "But I'd like to be taken to my friends as soon as this gets done."

"Ah, a kind heart and a shrewd businessman—very well, then; it's a deal."

"Great, now just tell me what to do."

"I can take care of the White Rabbit and the Caterpillar, but as for the rest…" The Cat stroked its chin, contemplating. "The personalities of the Mad Hatter, the March Hare, and the Dormouse aren't completely dead. They are definitely fighting Alicia's influence over their minds, but they are losing. They will need a little help in that department."

The Cat waved its paw in the air a few times, when a silver vial that had the words "Drink Me" on it appeared in its grip. The vial floated from out of the paws to in front of Pinocchio.

"Take this and put a drop in each of their cups of tea." The Cat ordered. "They'll be back to normal in a matter of seconds, and they'll escape on their own."

Pinocchio took the vial and nodded. He turned and started walking, when the Cat called him again.

"Before you go—"

The axe Minnie had given to him appeared in his hand. Pinocchio looked at the cat curiously.

"Just in case," the Cat shrugged.

As it watched Pinocchio walk back to the Mary Sue, the Cheshire Cat started to fade, until its wide grin was visible.

"And don't forget to let madness be your guide," it added softly, despite the fact that the boy wouldn't hear.

As the Cat let out soft laughter, its grin blended with the darkness.

Pinocchio went back to the "tea party" with a fake smile on his face, and the vial hidden away in his pocket. He greeted Alicia in a way that he hoped came off as love struck, and then made his way to the table to "mingle" with the other guests. He found it a little odd that he didn't get questions about the axe he was carrying, but he didn't want to note it out loud to Alicia. Pure dumb luck could only get one so far.

He sat next to the Mad Hatter first and took out the vial under the table. Fortunately, Alicia didn't see since she was dancing with the static March Hare, smiling and laughing like a little lunatic. Pinocchio looked away from her and watched Hatter warily before taking his cup of tea and putting a small drop of the strange liquid in the tea.

Then he quickly went over to the March Hare and Dormouse's cups and repeated the process.

Pinocchio then sat down again and looked at Alicia intently, trying to make himself look enamored with her. He figured the more he acted like she wanted him to act, the more he will fool her into letting her guard down.

Boy was he lucky Jiminy wasn't here. He would probably tell him how much it was bad to lie and act so phony, Pinocchio mused with a wistful smile.

Then again, the old cricket might actually agree with his methods, considering the circumstances.

"Okay, all my lovers!" Alicia finally announced as she sat at the head of the table. "It's almost time for the tournament for my heart—but first, a toast!" She lifted her cup of tea. "To all the characters I've loved before, the characters I love now, and the characters I will no doubt love in the future!"

"**Here, here!" **They all shouted with lifted tea cups.

Pinocchio lifted his cup to his lips, but he didn't sip. He didn't want to take the risk of losing control of his mind to the Mary Sue.

Instead, he just watched everyone else's reactions from over the cup.

Typically, it was the Mad Hatter who reacted first, since his love of tea caused him to chug the whole thing down in one gulp. His eyes went so wide that they were close to popping out of his head. He started coughing harshly into his hand and gripped his chest with his free one.

A few minutes later, the March Hare started gagging and shuddering. He pulled on his ears and screamed out in pain.

The Dormouse gripped his throat, looking like he was choking. He gripped the sides of his head and groaned in such a high pitch that Pinocchio couldn't help but feel sympathy and guilt. But he was certain that it would all be worth it in the end.

Alicia stared at her three guests with horror and fear. "W-w-what's going on here? What's happening?!"

Finally, the Wonderland citizens' pain ended. In unison, their eyes rolled to the back of their heads, and closed as they collapsed, their heads falling hard on the table.

For a few moments, Pinocchio felt like he couldn't breathe; the three of them didn't move.

And then…

"Whoa, where am I…?" The Dormouse sat up at the table with weary lidded eyes.

"Is it my un-birthday already?" The March Hare sat up in his chair and rubbed his head, moaning, "Oh my head."

Finally, the Mad Hatter opened his eyes, and he looked at his old friend. "If tho, then thith ith the wortht un-birthday I've ever been to," he answered.

"I second that."

"I want my teapot," the Dormouse squeaked, sounding almost sad. "I'm so tired."

Relieved, Pinocchio grinned at the three of them, while Alicia paled, looking both confused and furious at the same time.

"_What?!"_

The March Hare and the Mad Hatter both turned to look at her with narrowed eyes. Their eyes widened with recognition.

"You," the Hare breathed.

"You're the little tart who came uninvited to our un-birthday party and did thith to uth!" The Hatter fumed.

"N-n-no!" Alicia jumped from her seat and backed away, sweating profusely. "It was Alice! She ruined your lives. She's such a spoiled little bitch, yes?"

All of the males at the table glared heatedly at her, except the Dormouse, since it was too dazed to understand what was going on. Pinocchio was just reaching for his axe when…

"Incredible; you dare to slander Alice, rather than take responsibility for your actions."

Alicia whipped around, searching for the owner of the voice.

"How very—_cowardly_ of you."

She glared at the darkness. "I know you're there, Cat! I should have known you were behind this, you mangy little thing."

A cold, wide grin appeared in the air in front of her. "There's no need to use petty insults, child. It's _rude_," it added, finally appearing in full form.

Cheshire grinned back at Pinocchio, "I must admit that I had my doubts about you, but after this, I'm quite impressed."

Pinocchio raised an eyebrow. "I suppose that's about as close to a 'thank you' I'll get out of you."

"Of course."

The Hatter looked at Pinocchio and grinned at him amiably. "Ah, Pinocchio! What bringth you here?"

Pinocchio nodded towards Alicia. "Same as you, really."

The older man's face turned sour. "Oh."

"It doesn't matter anymore." The Cat turned to them. "She has no power over any of you now."

"That's a relief," the Hare said as he gently carried the now sleeping Dormouse. "Now, let's go home! I'm craving un-birthday tea, and I'll absolutely go mad if we stay here any longer."

The Hatter followed him. "Hey, that'th my job!"

Pinocchio watched as the three faded from sight, most likely heading back to the real Wonderland, and then he turned to the Cat.

"I believe that we had a deal," he said.

The Cat grinned. "So we did."

The two of them turned their back on Alicia, who had collapsed on her knees in defeat. Her body racked with sobs as she wailed on the "unfairness" of her defeat. But, as loud as she was, Pinocchio and the Cat blatantly ignored her.

"It's not fair! Why should a spoiled Victorian brat like Alice get everything? I want my own fantasy land full of madness and fun, damn it!

"I did everything I could to be like her—no, to be better than her! I even put that stupid boy in that trunk so I could rescue him and make him fall in love with me—"

That caused Pinocchio to stop walking.

"…You're the one who did that?"

Alicia looked up at the cold, monotonous tone, but Pinoke didn't face her. He didn't even move; he was completely motionless. Even the Cheshire Cat stopped and looked at the boy with some confusion.

"Cat, I've changed my mind," he said in the same tone. "You go help the others—I'll take a little…longer than expected."

The Cat noted how he clenched his fist around the hilt of his axe, and its grin widened.

"Very well then."

It faded from sight and left Pinocchio to it.

* * *

Meanwhile…

Pete arched an eyebrow. "Who the hell are you supposed to be? Wannabe circus freaks?"

Two of the three girls just smiled at him with creepy grins as they giggled. The third girl regarded him coldly and walked to the farthest corner of the room to lean on the wall with her arms crossed over her chest.

One of the girls walked up to him, her blue eyes shining with adoration and her white Wendy rip off nightgown brushing against her ankles. Wide-eyed, Peter found himself pulling himself back to get some distance between them.

She apparently decided to ignore his action and beamed. "Hi!"

He felt sweat bead on his forehead. "Uh…Hi?"

"You have no idea how long I've waited to meet you Peter." Her eyes gleamed as she put a hand over her heart with pride. "I'm Melinda Gloria Heather Valerie Darling."

"…Come again?"

"I'm Wendy's twin sister."

He blinked at the girl a few times, his face suddenly deadpan as he stared at the girl. Melinda blinked at him, grinning hopefully. The other girl scowled down at her hatefully, while the third one in the corner just observed the scene emotionlessly.

Then Peter started to laugh, starting with soft chuckles and then going to loud guffaws that bounced off the walls.

Melinda's bright smile twitched. "What's wrong?" she strained through her teeth.

"You…Wendy's twin sister…" He panted. "That's probably the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

Her expression fell, her eyes going wide and teary. Whether Peter noticed or not, he didn't care, he just continued to laugh harshly.

The girl next to her, who had dirty blonde hair and was wearing furs all over her body, smirked down at the Wendy rip off.

"See, I told you that you wouldn't be good enough, girly bitch."

She glared. "Shut up Kelly!"

As Peter's laughter continued, Melinda's eyes turned red with anger and she stomped her foot like a petulant child.

"It's not funny. Stop _laughing_!" she screeched.

He kept on chuckling, and smirked. "Oh yeah? What makes you think you can tell _me_ what to do?"

"Because I'm the one you'll fall in love with," Melinda replied seriously.

"…_Gee_, don't we sound confident."

The other girl, "Kelly" rolled her eyes, muttering, "No kidding."

Pete quirked an eyebrow at her and actually felt hope of escaping these girls, since this one seemed to be the sanest of the two. He wasn't too sure about the third one; from her scowl, it looked like she was forced to follow them.

"I mean, if anyone should be confident it's me."

His shoulders slumped. "Of course," he muttered under his breath. _Just my luck._

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Melinda turns to glare at Kelly.

Kelly glares back. "You honestly think you're going to impress him with your sob story about being overshadowed by your 'sister'? _Puh-lease!_"

"Oh, and you being an ultra feminist 'Lost girl' is better?! Get over yourself bitch!"

Peter blinked. "…Lost girl?"

"Better than some whiner who pines for a fucking 'Neverland' she doesn't deserve!"

His eyes widened. "Neverland…?"

At this point, both girls decided to stop ignoring him. Apparently, by the way they were looking at him, his confusion put them off.

"Yeah, you know—Neverland?" Melinda said.

"Lost boys, pirates, any of this ringing a bell?" Kelly added.

He stared at them. "…I think you girls are in the wrong universe. The only 'Neverland' I know are Michael Jackson's former home, and that imaginary world I played in when I was a kid—which I quickly grew bored of."

The two girls gaped at him.

"W-what do you mean you grew bored?" Melinda choked.

"I mean that I grew bored—or grew up—whichever works. I'm into other things now," he reiterated.

Pete didn't see, but the third girl quirked an eyebrow in interest at the new events.

"**Grew up?!" **Melinda and Kelly shrieked.

"But you're _Peter Pan_!" Kelly cried.

"You can't grow up!"

"Totally OOC, man!"

Pete rolled his eyes. "Just because I am _physically_ older and taller doesn't mean I've grown mentally—much anyway. My childish personality is still intact. It's just a little more…warped, that's all."

The two girls looked at each other, and then whispered to each other. Then they both turned to face him.

"All right."

"We'll accept that." Melinda agreed.

"**Now, choose!"** They both smiled brightly.

Peter blinked, looking nonplussed. "…Excuse me?"

"They want you to choose between them," the third girl explained in a bored tone.

He looked at her warily. "And not you?"

"Hell no. I'm here for Hook."

"Hook?" He looked confused for a second. "Wait—you can't possibly mean my _therapist_…right?"

Her eyes widened. "He's a therapist in this world?"

"Well, he _was_—I'm not too sure about now." Peter smirked. "Now that I think about it, I wonder how he's coping with that one hand of his these days."

The dark haired Villain Sue sighed. "I must be in the wrong section."

"You must be looking for the Jason Isaacs version—he's much more appealing on the eyes." He gestured as best as he could in his restraints. "Just go to the Movie category, and you'll find what you're looking for, trust me."

The Sue smiled. "Thanks."

And then she made a door appear in the wall, and left, closing it on the way.

_Yeah, have fun getting yourself gutted,_ he chuckled darkly.

Peter looked back at the other two girls, who were still grinning at him expectantly. He rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Okay bitches, let's get one thing straight (ha, I made a pun without wanting to) I'm not interested."

Melinda's smile twitched, refraining from frowning.

"What do you mean?" Kelly voiced through her toothy grin, also twitching.

"I mean that, even if I _wanted_ a relationship at the moment, it would be one with either of _you_."

Melinda's face fell as her eyes turned a sad blue, tearing up right away.

"B-b-b-but _WHY_?!" she wailed.

Peter cringed. He hated it when girls cried. It just annoyed him for some reason—especially when the girls cried about things not going their way.

In contrast to her foil, Kelly's eyes burned a furious red. "There's someone else, isn't there?!" she hissed.

He blinked, suddenly looking around the room awkwardly. "Kind of…"

"Who is she?!"

He blushed lightly and averted his eyes even more. "Uh………"

Melinda hissed, her eyes matching Kelly's. "It's that prim and proper bitch sister of mine, isn't it?!"

"Hey, Wendy's not a bitch!"

"Ha, I knew it!" She griped, "My sister's always getting everything I want, that little—!"

"It's not Wendy, you idiot." He sighed, exasperated. "In case you haven't done your research, she's already in her late twenties right now—and she has a child, to top it off. Besides, she's more of a mother to me anyway."

"Oh." Wendy's "sister" blinked. "Well, then who else could she be?"

At that moment, the vent a few inches above Pete's head was kicked open, crashing the gate into Melinda's face and causing her to fall back unconscious.

Kelly blinked. "What the—?"

Before she could complete her sentence, a metal bat was cracked on the side of her head. She immediately fell to a motionless heap, with black, glittery goo pooling around her head.

Peter blinked, and then glared playfully at the owner of the bat. "What the hell took you so long?"

"Sorry." Arthur looked back at him over his shoulder, "Would you believe me if I told you that I got lost?"

Pete stared at him.

"Look there are a lot of tunnels up there, okay!"

"Artie should have followed my directions~," a high pitched, alien voice sang from above Peter's head.

"Yeah, I know. You've only told me the hundredth time already," Arthur glared at a spot a few inches above Peter's head.

Blinking with confusion, Pete looked up to see a certain blue alien that grinned back down at him as it proceeded to break the chains around his wrist. Once his hands were free, Peter stood on the ground and stared at Stitch as the creature crawled down to the floor.

"Arthur, what is that thing?"

"It's Stitch," was the answer. "You know, Lilo's pet."

"You mean that quirky little Hawaiian girl?"

"The very same," Arthur smiled.

Peter looked at Stitch wryly. "Well, that explains a few things."

Looking offended, Stitch snarled up at him and turned his head away, crossing his arms with his nose up in the air.

"Anyway, we better get going," Arthur noted. "These girls might wake up at any moment."

Peter looked at him. "You mean you're just going to leave them here, like this?"

Arthur blinked. "Yeah, why is there something wrong?"

"Well, I guess it depends on your definition of 'wrong'…"

"I'm pretty sure they'll be fine, Pete. A knock in the head is probably not enough to kill them."

"That's exactly the problem," he sighed.

Arthur stared at him with wide eyes and a partially open mouth, to which Pete frowned.

"What? It's the truth; leaving them alive would just be impractical," Peter shrugged. "They'll just follow us later."

"I'm not going to kill them! It wouldn't be right," Arthur glared indignantly, and then paused. "At least, not like…this." He cast the two unconscious Sues a pitying glance. "It wouldn't be sportsmen-like."

Peter crossed his arms and stared at him with a skeptical lidded gaze. Even Stitch had to scowl at Arthur's naïveté. It was sweet, sure, but when it came to events such as war morals had to be tweaked in order for one to survive.

Of course, one as noble as Arthur couldn't allow themselves to do that.

It was one of many of Arthur's traits that irritated Peter as much as it fascinated him.

That was why, with a small smile, Peter nodded.

"Fine, fine," he conceded. "You know I _could_ have done it myself, if you only asked—"

Arthur opened his mouth to say something—

"—But, despite what I feel, I'll respect your beliefs and do things your way."

Stitch and Arthur looked at him with surprise, both for different reasons.

"Thank you, Peter," Arthur smiled.

The other boy turned his head to hide his blush. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let's just leave already." He blinked curiously, "How are we going to get out of here anyway?"

Arthur smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

Stitch grinned and pointed one clawed paw upward, towards the vent.

Peter looked at them skeptically, pointing at the vent with his thumb. "You mean the many tunnels that we could get lost in?"

The other boy nodded while the alien said a positive, "Ih."

"………Well, I guess I've been on _worse_ dates."

* * *

Mowgli grasped his trench knives at his side. "What have you done with Shanti and Alice?"

The jungle Sue frowned. "Why do you care about those girly brats, when you have me instead?"

His eyes narrowed. "Wrong answer."

In a flash of red, he was gone.

The Sue blinked and looked around, twirling her hair around her finger. "Where did he go?"

She nearly choked when she felt something sharp and cold pressed up against her jugular. Her eyes widened as she heard soft breathing from her would-be attacker.

_Impossible, how could he have gotten there so fast? _She thought. _I'm supposed to be the fastest jungle chick in the world—I _am _the fastest jungle chick in the world! _

"I didn't want to have to do this, but you give me no choice," Mowgli spoke softly into her ear. "Tell me where my friends are _now_, or I willslit your throat and watch as you experience an agonizing death."

Jungle Book Sue smirked arrogantly. "Oh, really? Let's see how my _friend_ takes your offer."

Mowgli blinked in confusion before he suddenly felt the burn of eyes on him. He turned around and saw a tall baboon glaring at him with blood red eyes, its teeth bared in a vicious snarl. It looked like an ordinary monkey, and sounded like an ordinary monkey, but there was just something off about it.

Thrown off guard, Mowgli was slashed across the face by the monkey, and he fell to the ground. Groaning and hissing in pain from the sting of the hit, he slowly stood up again to glare up at the Sue.

"What did you do to it?" he asked.

The Mary Sue grinned amiably as she pet the monkey. "I didn't do anything to it. It became one of my best friends. In fact, I'm friends with all animals."

Mowgli's eyes narrowed as he observed the animal, and his eyes widened as he noticed something about its eyes…

"You're lying."

She blinked. "Excuse me?"

"That monkey's eyes look too dead to be normal," he explained. "My guess is that you are either controlling it through its mind, or it's a robot."

Her eyes widened, and then they narrowed again, her mouth set into a bitter frown. "You're right. No animal would ever be my friend. I always have to force them into being loyal to me, through spells or something from my medicine man. They always seem to be more attracted to guys like you—who have been raised in the jungle—the sexist beasts they are."

Mowgli scowled. "They're not sexist; such concepts like that don't exist in their world. They just instantly know that people—male or female—like you are bad news. You don't need animal instincts to know that, though."

The Mary Sue's nostrils flared as she breathed deeply. Her hands clenched into fists, and then loosened again. In her right hand appeared a long, sharp spear that glinted against the reflected light from the moon. She lifted it high above her head and glared hatefully at Mowgli.

"Die animal boy!"

She moved to stab him from above, but Mowgli quickly dodged her and stood a few feet in front of her. The Sue stood upright with her weapon in her hands, and she pointed it at him, her eyes burning. Mowgli spread his legs and lifted his weapons to shoulder level, as if he was ready to punch and stab his opponent at the same time. He regarded her with cool eyes.

For a good few moments, the two of them just stood there, listening to the sounds of animals.

And then, the Sue ran forward, letting out an unnecessary battle cry that sounded like a bad, insulting impression of a native warrior.

Mowgli tilted his head, dodging her stab on the right side of his head, and he deflected the spear with the trench knife on his right hand. Then he jabbed at her side with the knife in his left.

But she dodged it also, and jumped back with a frightened cry. She threw her weapon away and summoned two smaller versions of the spear in her hands. She smirked arrogantly and lifted her weapons up.

"There, now it's equal."

Mowgli quirked an eyebrow. "Fine with me."

This time, when she ran forward, he ran forward also. Their weapons clashed as they glared over at one-another. Then they jumped back and started to get more offensive on each other. Jungle Sue would slash up and down, trying to break the skin and make the boy bleed. She got him a few times, but he still didn't go down. In return, Mowgli would mostly dodge slash/punch with his brass knuckle-like weapons, and then occasionally throw in a good round kick or two.

From where they were hanging, Alice and Shanti both regarded the fight with worried eyes. By this time in the fight (about fifteen minutes in), Mowgli looked a little worse for wear. His shirt was torn, and there were some gashes on his arms, and scratches and bruises on his face from all the punches and slashes. Ironically enough, cruelly, of course, the Jungle Sue was completely unscathed, in all her unnatural perfection.

The girls wanted to call out to him, to let him know where they were, to help him—something, but the plant's vines were pressed too tightly to their mouths, and they also didn't want to risk getting Mowgli killed. Even with his acute hearing, Mowgli couldn't afford to be distracted by the smallest of sounds.

As he ducked a close stab to the neck, Shanti gasped and her eyes watered. In contrast to her though, Alice was steaming.

_Damn it, _she mentally seethed. _I just wish I could do something. I hate sitting—_hanging_ around here doing nothing! Where was that knife Minnie gave me, anyway? She and Daisy gave us those weapons for a purpose._

"Looking for this?"

Alice blinked at the familiar voice, and looked up. A wide grin, like the crescent moon, stared back at her…

Mowgli didn't want to admit it, but he was feeling tired. It turns out the Sue was as fast as she said, but that wasn't the problem. The real problem was that no matter how hard he hit or slashed her, she always looked unharmed. It's like whenever he made a cut on her skin, the wound would automatically close. It just didn't make any sense…

"How can you still be standing?" He rasped out.

Jungle Sue smiled with mock innocence. "Oh, I'm sorry; did I forget to tell you? I'm also part wolf."

"…And what the hell does that even mean?"

She clucked her tongue. "Duh, werewolves? Do you, like, not know your supernatural fiction?"

He gaped at her, panting slightly. "Please tell me you're joking."

"I wouldn't joke about this."

"…That is quite possibly the most unoriginal thing I have ever heard. Pete was right—you Sues are crimes against literature!"

She gasped sharply, and then growled. "You'll pay for that!"

She lifted her hand in the air and muttered something in a language that sounded like it didn't even exist. After a few moments of hearing her chanting, Mowgli heard a strange rumbling from underground, followed by the sound of bedrock cracking.

"Shit!"

He didn't wait for "whatever-it-was" to pop out; he just gathered up what strength he had and jumped onto a tree branch. When he was safe and above, he saw a bunch of giant, Venus flytrap-like plant open its mouth and roar, swinging its head back and forth.

His eyes widened with recognition and his cheek twitched. _Oh, you _can't_ be serious! Can these Mary Sues sink any lower?_

"You never told me that you could control plants too!"

"Well, I can now!"

"You bitch, that's God moding," he yelled. "That's totally unfair!" (1)

"Yeah? Well, guess what? I don't give a damn!" The Jungle Sue grinned and pointed at Mowgli. "Get him, Audrey II!" (2)

The creature lifted its head and grinned up hungrily at Mowgli, revealing two rows of sharp teeth. The teenage boy blanched and grinned sheepishly back at the bloodthirsty, putting his hands up in appeasement.

"Easy Mr. Mean Green Mother from Outer Space," he said, laughing nervously. "You don't wanna eat _my_ blood. It's type AO, a horrible mixture."

Audrey chuckled darkly, his smooth voice sending frightening shivers down Mowgli's spine.

Then, suddenly, Audrey II snapped his head forward; his jaws wide open to snack on the boy's flesh.

Mowgli gasped sharply and jumped down to the ground, wincing when he felt pain go up his leg. He tried to move again, but the pain stiffened his muscles and made him feel weak. As he groaned and held his leg, he noticed the alien plant's huge shadow blocking the moonlight on the ground.

"Damn it," Mowgli hissed when he looked up.

Audrey grinned down at him maliciously, and then opened his jaws again to swallow the boy whole. Mowgli snapped his eyes shut and winced, hoping it would end soon…

When he heard a loud, wounded cry coming from his predator.

Mowgli opened his eyes to see Alice and Shanti in front of him (facing Audrey), both wielding their own weapons, only they were stained with blood. When he looked closer, he saw that Audrey, who was roaring in pain, had his head covered with two deep gashes.

Shanti turned to look at him with concern. "Are you okay?"

He smiled. "I am now."

"WHAT?!" Jungle Sue screeched in disbelief. "How is this possible?"

The Cheshire Cat appeared suddenly, grinning widely. "The authoress is raping the _deux ex machina_ literary technique for all its worth." (3)

A large gold pot fell from the ceiling to hit him on the head, but the cat easily deflected it with a paw, not losing his expression for a minute. (Because he's cool like that, that's why; not even the authoress of this fanfic can touch him.) (4)

When Audrey got through his agony, he snarled down at the teenagers.

Alice stiffened and glared up at him, knife in hand. "If any of you have a plan, now would be the time to say it," she addressed Mowgli and Shanti.

"I think I have one." Mowgli grunted and managed to stand on his feet to glare up at the monster. "Hey, you!"

The giant plant pursed its lips, knowing it was being addressed.

"Yeah, you, the thing that looks like it's from some campy '80s cult classic. You look like you're one badass monster. And I bet you know it too, don't you?"

Audrey grinned and snorted, as if saying, "Hell yeah!"

"Well then," Mowgli smirked and pointed at the Jungle Sue, "What the hell are you doing taking orders from the likes of _her_?"

The monster hummed softly, sounding confused with the question.

Alice jumped in, playing along. "That's right! From what I can tell, you're better than taking orders from someone. You're your own boss."

Jungle Sue's eyes widened as her chest heaved. "Don't listen to them, Audrey! Kill them! Kill them now!"

Audrey turned his head and looked back at its mistress, humming in thought. If he had eyes, they would have sparkled with conflicting emotions: to obey, or not to obey? To rebel, or not to rebel? He seemed to recall a moment in the past when he was free from taking orders, when _he_ was the one who manipulated others into being his minions, so he could get more blood. But when he woke up in this world as a tiny bud, the first thing he saw was Jungle Sue. Therefore, he was obligated to follow her…

………Right?

"She has no hold over you, Audrey II." Shanti said firmly. "You're the one who can take control of your life, not her."

"They're lying!" Jungle Sue seethed. "Can't you see that, you stupid little alien monster?! UGH! I shouldn't have used you. I should have made due with King Kong, hell, even Frankenstein! But it's too late now—Mother won't let me have another monster at my disposal. So do my bidding, or I will burn you to the ground, you stupid plant!"

Oh, now that got Audrey pissed off. It wasn't so much the name-calling; it was the references to the other monsters, as if they were better than him. Who did this bitch think she was messing with? Dr. Frank-N-Furter? (5)

While the alien steamed, the Cheshire Cat walked up to the teenagers and grinned up at them sneakily.

"You three will have to remind him who he is," he ordered them.

"How?" Alice asked.

"Just follow the music."

Meanwhile, Audrey was grinding his teeth. The Sue's insults made him so mad, so mad that he could…

_That he could…_

The whole forest went dark like a stage, the only light being the bright spotlight on Audrey and the Jungle Sue. As the plant and girl turned their heads, looking confused, a piano started playing a jazzy rhythm, followed by a drum beat and a guitar.

Shanti jumped into Audrey's spotlight, glaring at the Sue.

"_Better wait a minute,_

"_Ya better hold the phone!"_

Alice popped right next to him, giving the Sue a cool look.

"_Better mind your manners,_

"_Ya better change your tone!"_

Last, but not least, Mowgli walked in, slightly limping, and smirked.

"_Don't you threaten me, son._

"_You got a lot of gall!_

"_We're gonna do things _my_ way…!"_

Audrey immediately remembered the words and grinned.

"_**Or we won't do things at all~!"**_

As the monster slinked forward on its roots, Mowgli brought out a guitar and started playing with vigor. Alice and Shanti joined at his side, and became Audrey's unofficial backup singers, deciding that it would be safer to watch the musical rampage on the sidelines.

Meanwhile, Jungle Sue's eyes widened with fright as she stepped backward. Audrey grinned sadistically as he continued singing:

"_**Ya don't know what you're messin' with.  
You got no idea.  
Ya don't know what you're lookin' at  
When you're lookin' here. **_

Jungle Sue tried to run, but was quickly blocked by the monster.

_**Ya don't know what you're up against,**_  
_**No, no way, no how.**_  
_**You don't know what you're messin' with,**_  
_**But I'm gonna tell you now!**_

Audrey scatted as he spread his vines, which had small heads at the end that resembled little versions of his own.

**_Get this straight!_**  
**_I'm just a mean green mother from outer space_**  
**_and I'm bad._**  
**_I'm just a mean green mother from outer space_**  
**_and it looks like you been had._**  
**_I'm just a mean green mother from outer space,_**  
**_So get off my back, 'n get out my face,_**  
**_'Cause I'm mean and green_**  
**_And I am bad._**

The Sue shook her head and threw her spears at him. Audrey laughed and deflected them all, continuing to creep up to her.

**_Wanna save your skin boy?_**

She gasped sharply, looking highly offended. "I'm not a boy!"

A gun appeared out of nowhere and landed in Audrey's vines. With expert precision, he aimed at her and shot.

Jungle Sue decided it'd be best for her to run and not talk.

_**  
You wanna save your hide?  
You wanna see tomorrow? (Ha-Ha!)**_

_**You better step aside.  
Better take a tip boy.  
Want some good advice?  
Ya better take it easy,  
'Cause you're walkin' on thin ice.**_

She ran behind a tree and called for her monkey. "Help me!"

The monkey looked at her, and then promptly ran off.

"NO!" she sobbed melodramatically. "How could you betray me…?"

Audrey heard her and crushed the tree, nearly chopping off her head.

Jungle Sue yelped out in fear and continued running.

Whatever happened to that "tough girl" act she was spewing?

Oh, it didn't matter. All Audrey knew right now was that he was hungry and she was currently easy prey. So, he continued to chase her throughout the forest as he sung.

**_Ya don't know what you're dealin' with._**  
**_No, you never did._**  
**_Ya don't know what you're lookin' at,_**  
**_But that's tough titty, kid!_**

**_The Lion don't sleep tonight,_**  
**_And if you pull his tail, he roars._**  
**_Ya say, "That ain't fair?"_**  
**_Ya say, "That ain't nice?"_**  
**_Ya know what I say? "Up yours!"_**

As she jumped from tree to tree, Jungle Sue lost her footing (you know, despite being raised in the forest and all) and fell to the ground on her back. She groaned in pain and snapped her eyes closed.

But when she felt a thick root wrap around her ankle, the Sue opened her eyes to see Audrey staring down at her, looking bigger than before.

As she was lifted in the air by her foot, the Sue started to scream.

_**Watch me now!**_

_**I'm just a mean green mother from outer space  
And I'm bad.  
I'm just a mean green mother, a real disgrace,  
And you've got me violent and mad.  
I'm just a mean green mother from outer space,  
Gonna trash your ass! Gonna rock this place!  
I'm mean and green,  
And I am bad.**_

Audrey wrapped his vines all around her body and made her face him. Then, gathering all the restrained rage he had at being insulted, he started to shake her furiously, yelling in her face.

_**Don't talk to me about old King-Kong.**_  
_**You think he's the worst? Well, you're thinkin' wrong.**_  
_**Don't talk to me about Frankenstein.**_  
_**He got a temper? -HA! - He ain't got mine.**_

_**You know I don't come from no black lagoon.**_  
_**I'm from past the stars and beyond the moon.**_  
_**You can keep the Thing,**_  
_**Keep the It,**_  
_**Keep the Creature, t**__**hey don't mean **_**SHIT**_**! **_

"Please, let me go!" She cried, looking more like a whiny little girl than one who was raised in the rough and tough jungle.

Audrey shook his head in a negative. "Uh-uh-_uh_!"

**_I got garden style, major moves._**  
**_I got the stuff, and I think that proves,_**  
**_You better move it out! Nature calls!_**  
**_You got the point? I'm gonna bust your balls!_**

Laughing, he lifted her high above his head, and he faced her, making sure to reveal his sharp teeth that, if one looked closely, were stained with freshly fed from blood.

The Sue cried. "NOOOO!"

_**Here it comes!  
I'm just a mean green mother from outer space  
And I'm bad.  
I'm just a mean green mother from outer space  
A real hard case. You can't beat this trouble, man.  
I'm just a mean green mother from outer space  
So just give it up. It's all over, ace.  
I'm mean and green.  
**__Alice and Shanti: (Mean green mother from outer space.) __**  
I'm mean and green.  
**__(Mean green mother from outer space.)__**  
I'm mean and green.  
**__(Mean green mother from outer space.)__**  
And I...am...bad!"**_

As Audrey opened his mouth wide to swallow her whole, the Sue winced, tearfully lamenting on failing Mother, and Mowgli, Alice and Shanti sang the last few "Aaah"'s of the song.

And then—with The Sue pushed down his mouth whole, and Audrey chewing and swallowing her corpse loudly—it was over, and the whole forest went back to normal.

"Wait, hang on," Mowgli said with disbelief.

Alice gaped. "That's it?"

"But what about…?" Shanti began, pointing at Audrey, the only obstacle left.

A loud rumble from Audrey started, and the alien plant started to curl into himself and groan in agony. Mowgli noticed his whole body bubbling up in waves, and his eyes widened.

The Cheshire Cat appeared in mid-air. "You three might want to start hiding. Now."

Mowgli nodded and put his hands on the girls' shoulders, pulling them away. When he stumbled, both Alice and Shanti grabbed either of his arms and guided him to sit behind a big tree. When the rumbling to louder, the teens gasped and held onto each other for the impact, while the Cheshire Cat sat on the branch, his tail swaying lazily.

_POP!!_

Like a balloon, Audrey exploded in a mass of black, glittery goo that splattered the forest. The Cheshire Cat coolly avoided getting mess on his fur by making his corporeal form transparent, while the teens were sheltered by the huge tree.

"Okay. Problem solved," the Cat said to them.

Alice peaked out from behind the tree. "What happened to him?"

"A creature such as himself is only one who eats _human _blood," the Cat explained. "And the Mary Sues/ Gary Stus aren't human."

"Ah, I see."

"Are you okay, Mowgli?" Shanti asked.

He smiled softly. "I'll live, but I think something's up with my leg." He winced slightly.

The Cheshire Cat sighed, rolling his eyes to the ceiling. "Dear Walt, give me strength." Then it held out its paw and a bottle appeared. It immediately tossed it to Mowgli. "Here, take it. And this better the last freebie I give you kids."

"'Drink me'." Mowgli read the label out loud, his nose scrunching with suspicion. "This isn't something laced with drugs or alcohol or something, right?"

Both Alice and the Cheshire Cat glared at him heatedly. **"It's not drugs!!!" **(6)

"Okay, okay! Jeez, some people."

Shanti thought for a moment, and then looked at them. "Hey, guys?"

They all looked at her.

"...Where did the music come from?"

Alice and Mowgli looked at each other, and then back at her, their expressions deadpan.

**"Don't. Ask."**

* * *

Crystal looked out of the tower, to all the prisons all the students of W.D. Academy resided with their own Sues and Stus. She could hear the screams and cries of "Let me go!" and "Leave me alone!" from all the males and females who were Chosen by the members of Mother's army.

Crystal looked out at all that in her tower, and smirked. All was going according to plan, and no one was going to stop the Sue/Stu army from taking over the fandoms. First they'd start with the weak ones, the Disney fandom most of all, and then they will move up to the movies, the games, and then…the _anime/manga _section.

She looked at her poster of Itachi Uchiha and smiled.

"Soon, Ita-kun," she crooned as she caressed the poster. "We'll be together soon."

Just as she was about to kiss the fictional character's face (as if it would kiss back), Crystal heard an anxious beep on her intercom. She growled in frustration and stomped away to slam on the reply button. And don't you look at her like that. She had a right to be angry at the world.

Can't a stalker fan girl like herself have a moment with her ONE TRUE LOVE without being interrupted?

(Granted, last week her last ONE TRUE LOVE was Roy Mustang from _Fullmetal Alchemist_…but that's not the point!)

"What is it now?!" Crystal screeched.

Static, and then a painful groan. _"Commander…"_

"Ugh, this better be important, Silver Magenta Williams."

"_It's," _cough, _"one of the Chosen. They've escaped."_

Crystal twisted her nearly white hair on her finger, looking bored. "Yeah, so what? I'll just get the Stus to get him for me. They'll take him down easy."

"_NO!" _Williams cried. _"Not this one……This one is different from the others! They've already taken out everyone else down here on the third level."_

Her eyes, glittering like perfect crystals (oh, what the hell do you care anyway?) widened. "What? But…that's impossible. No human can beat us! We're better than humans; we're more powerful, with supernatural powers up the yin yang (no matter how random they are); we're perfect…….We're fucking Mary Sues!!"

"_Commander…"_

Crystal had to strain her ears, because Williams' voice had gone raspier.

"……_**I don't think this one is human**__." _

Her eyes widened. What did _that _mean?

Before she could ask though, Williams suddenly started letting out screams that gargled as they rose in pitch.

"_No, please, God…"_

She was interrupted by a _squishing _sound that had her screaming in anguish. Crystal tried to hear the assailant, to get a hint of who they were, but all she heard was Williams' cries.

For once in her non-human life, Crystal felt a shiver go down her spine.

"_NOOOO!!……………"_

Crystal swallowed at the silence that followed, and then she pressed the button on the intercom. "Williams?"

"…"

"Williams, answer me."

"…"

"Will someone…_please _answer me?"

"……_Well, since you said please."_

Crystal's eyes widened at the cold, unfamiliar voice. _What…? That's not one of the Sues. He's not even one of the Stus. And yet…his voice is familiar somehow._

_But who…?_

"_Hello, anybody out there? I thought you wanted someone to answer you."_

_Who _is _he?_

She swallowed up her fear (Mary Sues shouldn't ever feel fear) and pressed the intercom to reply. "Who is this? Where're Williams and the others?"

"…………Oh_, you mean the girls down here! I'm terribly sorry. They can't come to the phone right now. Especially not Williams, she's rather…tied up at the moment._

"_But hey, can you come down here and play with me?"_

The edge on the childlike voice made Crystal freeze and her eyes widen even more.

"_I'd hate to ask, but……I haven't played with anyone in _so _long. And the girls down here got too tired too soon. Even Williams did, though she lasted longer than the others. _

"_Now I'm bored again. I _hate_ getting bored."_

"What did you do…?" Her voice choked. _"What did you do to them?!"_

"……"

Crystal's chest heaved with her deep, ragged breaths. She tried to listen to the person on the other side of the intercom, to try if she could hear them breathing.

But she couldn't.

Whoever this person was, they didn't _breathe_—at all.

"…Me_?" _

He replied in an innocent tone yet, in her mind's eye, Crystal could picture him smirking.

_Who is he? Who is he?_

"_I didn't do anything wrong, I was just having fun……_

"_**Crystal Heart**__."_

She backed away from the intercom, her face a grimace of fear, as if the presence was going to somehow reach her through the technological device. She couldn't think, she couldn't breathe. All she was aware of was the pounding of her heart, louder than any drum at a My Chemical Romance concert.

"_That is your name, right? I really hope I'm saying it correctly."_

"…!"

"_Aw, you're not going to answer me?" _He sounded like he was pouting. _"That makes me sad, Crystal._

"_Oh, well, it doesn't matter. But I do hope you come down to play with me soon. I can teach you all kinds of games, just like the ones I taught Williams. Perhaps I'll even teach you _better _games. The two of us will have lots and lots of fun together down here, with all the rest of your friends._

"_**I promise."**_

He started to giggle softly into the intercom, laughing like a little child. Then the laughter grew, escalating into full on guffaws that could make a human body into rolling on the floor. But there was really no innocent humor behind it. The laughter was cold and harsh, laced with something that made Crystal, who's supposed to be the badass Angsty Mary Sue, shudder with terror.

Then, as quickly as it began, the laughter just stopped.

Crystal let out a few shaky breaths before walking to the intercom. She pressed the button for the third level and waited.

The screen on the machine said in glowing green letters: "Lost connection."

Wide-eyed, she slowly, shakily, walked backwards until she hit a wall, and then she slid down to the floor. She tucked her knees up to her chest, under her chin, and rocked slightly back and forth.

Crystal didn't dare look out the window in her tower. She was too paranoid of seeing someone stare back at her.

After a few minutes, she reached out to get out her compact and call Mother.

The mission just got more complicated.

* * *

_He smirked at the intercom he had destroyed during his and Crystal's "conversations". _

_Then he directed his gaze at the computer that showed all the information on every one of the prison cells in the panopticon._

_It was time to get to work._

* * *

Somewhere, in the maze of the prison vents, Arthur couldn't help but feel a shiver go through his body, making the hairs of his neck stand on end. It wasn't because of the cold metal tunnels, though. He had a bad feeling—a _really _bad feeling.

Pete and Stitch looked back at him with concern.

"Something wrong, Arthur?"

"Ichi ba?"

He just stared at the two of them.

* * *

Somewhere else, Alice felt that same foreboding shiver make her blood run cold. She turned her head and looked to the side, as if looking out into space.

Shanti looked at her. "Alice?"

"What's the matter?" Mowgli asked.

Alice's cool blue eyes narrowed, but she stayed silent.

* * *

Meanwhile, Pinocchio was just starting to stir in a place he knew he didn't remember being in when he was awake. He felt as if he had been sleeping all this time, having a dream that his mind couldn't reel back in…

* * *

And, just a few miles away from the panopticon, Donald and Goofy were on the bridge of a Gummi Ship.

"Come on," Donald ordered Goofy, annoyed. "Drive faster! We have to get there before it's too late!"

"Gawrsh, I'm going as fast as I can here!" Goofy replied, while desperately trying to find a way to accelerate their ship.

From inside a room, Mickey looked outside a window as the ship moved. Then he stared at the hooded guest he had brought along the ship.

"We'll be there soon," he reassured. "Hopefully, we're not too late."

The hooded figure stayed silent for a few contemplating moments. Then the person took off the blue hood and revealed a beautiful young woman with blonde hair and blue eyes.

She looked at Mickey solemnly, and shook her head.

"I'm afraid, dear Mickey, that it already is."

* * *

For a few brief moments, all three levels of the Mary Sue/Gary Stu prison were normal. There were the occasional muffled cries from the prisoners suffering under their many Sues/Stus, but other than that, it was mostly silent.

Then, all the prison doors blew open, their bolts and locks exploding like little bombs.

And that was when all hell broke loose.

* * *

Note: Oh my god…it's _still_ not the end?! You mean I still have to finish _one_ last part?

Aw, fuck.

Well, be happy anyway people; this is almost thirty-six pages long. If I continued it, it would have been longer and would have taken longer to finish. (shudder)

Admit it, though: It didn't get so bad near the end, right? I have at least some art for causing suspense……right?

You: *cricket songs*

Aw, whizzes on you guys! (Ha, _Shrek_ reference.)

Anyway, now that I know how I'm going to end it (I had a good idea before, but now I'm completely sure), I'm certain that the next part will be the actual _last_ part. (I'll try to wrap it up the way I want to anyway.)

I apologize to anyone who feels frustrated by this turn of events. I tried my hardest though, you can't deny that.

And I got the Mad Hatter, the March Hare, Dormouse, and the Cheshire Cat in on this. So, it's not a complete loss.

Before we end this though, let me say a few more things:

1. God moding, if I remember correctly, is an rp term used when someone makes their character indestructible. For example:

You: *attack*

God-mode: Your attack has no effect on me.

You: WTF? You made that up.

God-mode: It's my character; I make my own rules, no matter how logically impossible they are.

2. Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you Mr. Mean Green Mother from Outer Space himself: Audrey II, the villain from _Little Shop of Horrors. _Listen to his song and enjoy the goodness of a villain song. I'm shocked the Nostalgia Critic didn't include this in his review, but hey, whatever.

To those who's read "Unexpected Miracles": Can you tell I love the movie yet?

3. Yes, it's true. I used the _deux ex machina _technique throughout this entire thing. I'm not exactly proud of it, but it was necessary.

4. And yeah, I totally respect the Cat.

5. Dr. Frank-N-Furter: the "Sweet Transvestite" anti-hero and/or villain of _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_, which I'm also a little obsessed with.

You: *stare*

What? I'm not afraid to admit it; Tim Curry was awesome in this movie. Hell, he made it the phenomena it is today. Go ahead, search the internet. Check out young Curry in all his cross-dressing goodness.

6. Yes I made an Alice drug reference. I don't know about you, but I think I got Alice and Cheshire's expression on the subject dead on. :D


	14. Interlude 4: The New Guidance Counselor

**~Interlude 4: The New Guidance Counselor~**

When Peter Pan stepped into the waiting room for the guidance office, he was absolutely furious. Pissed off, if you wanted to be vulgar. He felt an odd urge to kill something (or at least maim), or someone—especially a certain pious prick of a priest, who went by the name of Claude Frollo.

Breathing heavily, he sat down in the seat next to an emotionless Jim Hawkins, who eyed him warily.

"Hey," Jim waved.

Peter noticed him for the first time, and tried to calm himself down. "Yo."

For a few minutes, the two teenage boys sat in silence, not looking at the other. Then, Peter suddenly had a thought and started scavenging his backpack until he pulled out a written piece of notebook paper. He held it out for Jim, who quirked an eyebrow at it.

"Read this," Peter ordered.

Jim rolled his eyes and took the paper. He knew better than to argue; Pan would just annoy him until he obeyed. As his dark eyes looked over the paper, Jim found himself nodding, a genuine (but small) smile on his face.

"It's good." He nodded at the poem as he handed it back.

"You didn't get the sense that the speaker wanted to commit suicide, or the like?"

"Uh…no."

"That's what I said!" Peter threw his hands up in the air. "But that stupid priest seemed to think otherwise, and sent me down here to 'sort out my problems'!"

Jim blinked. "Wait, you wrote the poem?"

Pete flushed a little and turned his head away in embarrassment. "It was a boring English class, okay. We were listening to a recording of _Macbeth_ the entire time."

"I thought you liked Shakespeare. You're the only guy I know who freely admits it, anyway," Jim added as an afterthought.

"Exactly, which means I've both read and seen the play so many times already. I practically know the story by heart. Hell, I should have skipped the class, instead of spending it writing," he lifted the poem to eye level and regarded it with distaste, "_this_ piece of crap."

Jim shrugged. "I thought it was good."

Peter looked at him critically, eyebrow raised. "Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, you're no Edgar Allen Poe, but you've got some talent."

Stare.

"…You just had to mention the most emo poet you could think of, didn't you, Hawkins?"

"Well, it was either him or Sylvia Plath."

Peter considered. "Hm. Good point." Then, out of curiosity, he asked, "So, what are you in for?"

Hawkins didn't miss a beat. "Punching out a teacher."

"Wow, which one?"

"The usual one, the guy who looks like a Scorpion King reject from _The Mummy Returns_."

Peter quirked an eyebrow. "And they sent you down here?"

Jim smiled wryly. "The concept of detention is dead in the world of education. Teachers no longer keep us after school to think about what we did. Now they just send us down here, so we stay out of their hair for a brief time, hiding under a false pretense of 'trying to help us'."

"Damn Board of Ed." Peter shook his head.

After a pause, Jim reached inside his pocket and took out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Peter's eyes brightened at the sight of nicotine.

"I didn't know we could smoke down here," he said.

Jim shrugged as he lit a stick and took a drag. "I haven't been caught yet."

"Can I have one?"

"No way. Get your own."

"But I spent my last one during the Valentine's Day dance," Pete whined.

"Not my problem." Jim calmly took a drag, watching the smoke spiral in the air. "Speaking of which, what did you and Pendragon do that night?"

He blushed furiously, but covered it up with a scowl. "We didn't do anything! Why is it everyone's been asking that lately?"

"Well, you two didn't come back in until a few minutes before dawn." At Peter's look, Jim added, "Maleficent's crows noticed and told her. Now the whole school's curious."

Peter groaned and slumped in his seat. "Great. Just what I need…"

Feeling an ounce of sympathy, Jim patted his shoulder. "Hey, don't sweat it, man. Most likely, it'll go away by next month, like anything else in this school. But, if it makes you feel better, Ariel's been getting interrogated too, maybe even Mr. Benson. No one saw those two until the next morning."

That made Peter smirk. "I don't think anyone really needs to ask what _they_ did."

The two boys chuckled slightly. Then Peter heard his name called, and he sighed. Despondent, he stood up and, as he walked towards an office, he gave a small wave.

"Later, Hawkins."

"Pan." Jim nodded dismissively.

* * *

_Ah, my first day at my new job. _

_I can already smell it: a new beginning, a fresh start. Its aroma reminds me of a fresh Spring day._

_Yes, a new job; _

_A good way to forget that God damned, snot nosed little, pointed eared brat— _

Dr. James Hook—former child psychiatrist, mental hospital patient, and newly formed guidance counselor—heard his door open and close, indicating the first teenager he'd have to counsel. He cheerfully picked his head up and smiled.

"Good afternoon—"

When he opened his blue eyes, he choked on his greeting. His eyes went as wide as plates as he took in the site of the _oh-so-familiar_ teenager, and his long black mustache started to twitch and curl.

Hook jumped from his seat and backed himself against the wall, lifting his arm—the one that had a silver hook for a hand—and shakily pointed at the boy, making choking sounds.

For a good few moments, Peter Pan just blinked, obviously not recognizing the odd looking black haired man. Then he saw the silver hook, and his green eyes widened.

He lifted his arm and pointed at the old man, unintentionally mirroring his old therapist's position.

"_**YOU!"**_

* * *

Smee was humming cheerfully at his desk, filing his boss's papers, when he heard a crash from inside the office of said boss.

"Oh, dear," the portly man said. He abruptly got up and opened the door.

"Cap, I'm here, I—huh?" Smee froze, bemused by what he saw.

On the other side of the room, a smirking Peter Pan was standing on Hook's leather couch, his stance ready for a fight.

Meanwhile, on the opposite side, Hook was snarling maniacally as he tried to pull his hook out from the wall—where he had intended to stab Pan, before the boy dodged the blow.

"I must say, I'm disappointed with you, Hook." Smirking, Peter rubbed his knuckles against his shirt and pretended to inspect his fingernails. "I guess you've just gotten too old for this."

Hook saw red. "I'll show you old, you little bastard!"

He pulled his hook out from the wall and pointed it at the boy. Peter's eyes gleamed as he pulled out his switchblade and pointed it forward. They both moved forward and…

"STOP!"

"**Huh?" **Both man and boy blinked dubiously and turned to see a furious looking Smee.

"Smee," Hook smiled nervously.

"No way." Peter looked from Smee, to Hook, his eyes narrowing with incredulity. "He still works for you?"

Smee stomped forward until he was right between them, glaring at the both of them. Then, with his hands on his hips, he turned to glare up at his boss through half moon-shaped glasses.

"What did you think you were doing, James Hook?" he yelled.

Hook cringed slightly. "B-but, Smee—he started it!"

"I don't care who started it! _You're_ the adult here! You're not supposed to give in to such childish games!"

Realizing this, Hook's shoulders slumped. Peter took notice and stuck his tongue out tauntingly. Hook's eye twitched as he glared at the boy, but before he could do anything, Smee turned to glare up at Peter.

"And you, don't you think I forgot _you_!"

Peter gulped slightly and hid his knife behind his back.

Smee took a deep breath, and made his voice calm. "Now, Pan, I know I can't control you and your actions…"

Said boy nodded slightly, shrugging.

"But, please, _please_ keep it to a minimum. The Cap just got home from the hospital, and his blood pressure needs constant check, and it would really make my watching him easier."

Peter stared at Smee for a good few moments, his face blank. Then, he smiled and shrugged.

"Sure." He jumped down from the couch and walked to the door. "My boredom's sated anyway—for now, at least."

Peter turned his head to smirk at Hook. "I hope to be seeing you again soon, though. After all, it will be just like the good old days. Remember, codfish?"

As he started laughing, Hook's twitch in his eye got worse. Even when the boy left, it didn't go away. In fact, the man's body started trembling all over; so much that one could hear his bones rattling.

Mentally, and emotionally exhausted, Hook collapsed on his couch and laid back on it. As he rested his aching head on the armrest, Hook looked up at Smee helplessly, silently asking a question.

Smee regarded him with dull eyes and a quirked eyebrow. "Headache?"

Hook nodded.

Sigh. "I'll get the hot water running."

* * *

When Peter Pan stepped into the school cafeteria for lunch, he felt absolutely terrific. His smile was wide enough to be on par with the Cheshire Cat's, and he greeted everyone he saw in a cheerful tone, even Claude Frollo. When he found his group of friends and sat with them, he was regarded with wary stares from everyone but Pinocchio.

Mowgli quirked an eyebrow, looking suspicious. "You're looking pretty cheerful for someone who's been in guidance for the last period and a half."

"Did something good happen?" Arthur asked, smiling somewhat nervously.

Peter blinked at them, and then his grin widened. And then, he started to laugh.

"Heh…heh-heh-heh-heh," he paused, and then threw his head back, "MUAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Uh," Shanti was about to ask if Pete was okay, but Alice grabbed her hand and shook her head frantically, silently saying, "Don't ask, as if your life depended on it."

As his bouts of laughter echoed the halls, everyone in the room stared at him and quickly tried to get as away from him as possible. Even Jafar, the biology teacher everyone loved to hate, quickly walked out of the room.

Meanwhile, Mowgli, Arthur, Alice and Shanti, all wide eyed and shaking with fear, hid behind Pinocchio—the only one who had managed to keep up a stony face.

"Wait, how is it, you're the one who's unaffected by this, Pinoke?" Mowgli wondered at Pinocchio.

"Because, I've long accepted his insanity as a norm," the shorter boy shrugged.

"HAHAHAHA—"

"Um, sh-shouldn't we do something anyway?" Arthur asked shakily.

"Don't even bother." Pinocchio snorted. "If you just ignore him, Pete will stop…eventually. Like, maybe after a few hours, at least."

* * *

God, this is ironic. I don't even like Peter Pan, or Captain Hook. Frankly, I think they both need some serious therapy to work out their issues with each other.

But their enemy-enemy relationship is so...funny, for some reason. It really stands out compared to other Disney adversaries.

I mean, first you've got the neurotic pirate who won't let a past wrong go, and then you've got the sadistic little brat who loves to antagonize him. (And don't you deny it! I know you secretly know Pete is a sadist deep down. XD) The line between who's right and who's wrong is kinda blurry, because you see both sides of the argument.


End file.
